Macabra

They forced me into hijab at age 6 and forced me to wear it for the next 25 years till I left. They told me my whole life I’d go to hell and burn for an eternity if a man sees my hair and lusts after me even though I was a little girl. They told me I was worth half a man my whole life; I’d inherit half, my witness in court is half, my blood money is half, I’m half-brained. They told me if I dishonour my family, my father or grandfather or uncle or any man in my family would kill me to restore the family honour with no consequences to them whatsoever. They told me my father is my male guardian and gets to decide if I get an education or a job or even a lifesaving surgery. When I got married to a Muslim man, they told me now he was my male guardian and would get to make those decisions for me. They told me if I ever give birth to my own children, he would own them forever like my dad owned me. They told me I couldn’t divorce him even if he beat me to death or married 3 other women simultaneously. They’d chase me around and arrest me if my hijab wasn’t proper enough for decades. They imprisoned my uncle in solitary confinement for having unIslamic ideas. They told me they’d imprison me if I’d had unIslamic ideas. They murdered thousands upon thousands upon thousands people like me who had unIslamic ideas. They still tell me I was never a real Muslim and am not a real exMuslim now. They still call me a whore/ slut/ jendeh/ fahisha/ majoosi/ prostitute for speaking about my own experiences. They send me death threats quite frequently. They stalk me, harass me, threaten me, insult me (and my parents) to silence me. Do you get the picture or do you want me to go on. Because I can go on.