Jon M

I really miss porn movie theaters.Front row, trench coat & sunglasses. #thosewerethedays – at Queens, NY

@ComedienneMsPat great to see you on #lastcomicstanding

My name is Jon and I would like to be President of The United States of America ! – at Queens, NY

"This is the fucking tweet for today!" #StayingRelevant – at Queens, NY

I'm going to do my best and not say Motherfucker until midnight? #HappyMothersDay – at Queens, NY

I Love Her So Much It Hurts... When I Urinate – at Queens, NY

Stop wasting toilet paper, use both sides. #EarthDay2015 – at Queens, NY

Don't mistake kindness as a sign of weakness. It's a sign that someone is trying to get in your pants. – at Queens, NY

The 420 comments should be rolling in around noon and again about four after my second nap, assuming I remember? #Happy420 – at Queens, NY

A fool and his money soon part... But they have a great fucking time!!! – at Queens, NY

Followers? Who needs followers when you have a body like this! – at Queens, NY

If I was mayor of NYC, I would tell people to stay home today. Not because it's so cold outside, I just genuinely don't like people #monday – at Queens, NY

HAPPY V.D !!! – at Queens, NY

Valet parking guy wins first Grammy! #Grammys2015 – at Queens, NY

I take it back, I would fuck a matador. Thanks Madonna! #GRAMMYs

They say a real asshole can be spotted from miles away. I say, "depends on what I'm wearing."

The first company to come up with a scratch-N-Sniff app will change porn as we know it

Match. com doesn't even have a "Like" button for Anal?

@clearlyblonde By the way, don't use the coffee maker and travel with a universal remote. #roadlife

@clearlyblonde checking out?