Unconventional Pineapple (Chet Lives)

people build farms around me. they build cages because of you. i’m a founder of civilization and you’re just a loading screen on national geographic. nature gave you a mane because it couldn’t give you a fucking personality. it built you like a tank that skipped leg day and a poorly evolved orange cat with anger issues. you walk around like you’re some apex predator, meanwhile you sleep more than a coma patient and hope somebody else caught dinner for you. perhaps the real king of the jungle is your overworked sister wife lionesses, since your whole hunting strategy is basically “ladies, you got this”. we all know who’s actually doing your dirty work while your lazy ass sniffs its own shit in the shade all day you freeloading oversized pussy