Solitude

The body you want is in the workout you are too lazy to show up for, and the diet you refuse to take seriously. Eat right and go to the fvcking gym.

There are a lot of books to buy, foods to try, music to listen to, gyms to train at, countries to visit, people to love on, money to make, movies to watch, cars to buy, houses to buy, kitchen wares to buy, and on and on. I cannot d!e yet. Life is for the living and I will live right.

A book has the first two chapters to impress me and make me want to keep reading. Otherwise, I’m closing it and probably never picking it up again.

- Prison Break - Blacklist - The Lincoln Lawyer - Breaking Bad - Better Call Saul.

Ghosts are not real. There’s no business between the living and the déad. Once you are gone, that is the end. No one has seen a ghost before. They are all lying.

No ever let money finish for your hand. This is not a piece of advice. Na serious warning. Even if it is only 10-20k you can save monthly, if you do that consistently for a year, that’s about 120-240k. If you use reputable saving apps like Renmoney, you also get 22% interest on that. Rainy days will always come, opportunities will come too. But with no liquidity, you’ll continue to miss out. A wise man once said “If you no get money e dey k!ll idea.”

One underrated privilege that isn’t talked about enough is having a metabolism that allows you to eat almost anything without gaining much weight. It is such a luxury. Some people practically breathe and add 5kg, while you can eat an entire cake, a box of pizza, shawarma, burgers, huge portions of food, eat late at night, and still not get fat. What a privilege.

This week, may we all be successful in our various endeavors.🙏🏾

The only thing I want this week is money. Plenty of it.

The funny thing about life is that your life is going to change on one random day. Just a normal Wednesday you didn’t feel like showing up but still showed up regardless. That is when everything will just click and it will be up from there. Life is very unscripted. Don’t you fvcking dare give up.

There’s nothing more dehumanizing than poverty. It is one of the worst things that can happen to anyone in this life. Your fear of ending up poor should be greater than your fear of dying. Poverty steals so much from you. It strips you of your dignity. You’re poor, so you can’t afford quality healthcare. Then, one day, your body decides to finally give up, and that’s the end of you. Poverty puts you at the mercy of people. Poverty makes you tolerate nonsense from people. You keep dealing with low-quality problems. It gets to a point where you stop dreaming of a better life because survival has become your new normal. It is arguably the worst thing that can happen to anyone.

Please knock before you enter anybody’s house this period. People are naked.

Since nobody wants to say it, I will. Wizkid dey fvck up big time. He doesn’t show up for people, and it’s really bad. LAX got married a few weeks ago, and Wizkid didn’t turn up for him. If you read between the lines of LAX’s response when Wizkid posted about it, you could tell he wasn’t too happy about his absence. In fact, I think Wizkid should have been present at Zlatan’s wedding. Burna came for the bachelor’s party. Davido has been there since day one, and I understand that we can’t compare the two because Zlatan and Davido are close friends. But Wiz? E dey mess up. When was the last time he showed up for another artist’s event? Before you say he probably sent them money, yada yada, they’re all rich. Sometimes, your presence matters more than anything you can ever offer. This is how you build solid relationships with people. He’s not the only celebrity introvert. This is just a bad habit. You are a superstar, we know, but haba nau.

What happened to Rema’s Unilag admission?

1. The easiest thing to know in this life is when someone is genuinely interested in you. The second easiest thing is when someone isn’t. 2. All of a sudden, they become too busy for you. You start wondering, “Isn’t it the same job they were doing in the beginning of the talking stage or relationship?” Well, they no longer like you. 3. If you don’t call or text them first, they won’t reach out. It starts to feel like they are responding to you rather than conversing with you. If you don’t call or text your babe or talking stage for the next 48 hours and they don’t reach out, you already have your answer. 4. They begin to take offense at the most inconsequential things and jokes. This is because everything you do now irritates them, and most people cannot hide their irritation to save their lives. 5. Texts start getting shorter. Calls become shorter, with excuses like being tired. This is someone who used to stay on the phone with you for four hours or text you “wyd?” in the middle of the night. Let me break it to you: while the calls and texts with you are getting shorter, those with someone else are getting longer. The new person. 6. They start making flimsy excuses whenever you want to see them. They are now too occupied to spend quality time with you. So much for someone who used to ask, “Hey, are you at home?” just to come and see you when they still liked you. 7. If you pay close attention, they start making statements or dropping hints that you should date anyone who wants to take you seriously. They may not spell it out, but they subtly begin to tell you to keep your options open. 8. Unnecessary fights and arguments become the order of the day. Every little conversation turns into a fight, leading to days of not speaking to each other until you, the person who is still the only one invested in the relationship, eventually apologise for peace to reign. A terrible thing to do, by the way. 9. Your conversations with them begin to lack substance. After “How are you doing?”, “How was your day?” and “Have you eaten?”, there is nothing else to talk about. They are intentionally becoming boring to frustrate you. 10. They go out, take new pictures, and you begin to see those pictures on social media like the civilian you have now become. This is someone who used to spam you with new pictures and even ask you to select the ones they would post. 11. They become inconsiderate and unnecessarily needy. Inconsideration is one of the easiest ways to know that someone no longer cares about you. In fact, it can be a sign of resentment. 12. They begin to personalise everything. This is someone who used to say things like, “So, what are WE going to do now?”, “WE will get through this” and “WE should go out again soon.” Now, everything becomes “I”. This is because they no longer see you as part of their future. 13. A third party enters the picture. There is now a new guy or girl they talk to all the time, someone you are obviously uncomfortable with. When you express your displeasure, they tell you how insecure you are and insist that it is not that deep. It is that deep. That person is your replacement. 14. You begin to hear absurd statements like, “You know we don’t have to talk every day, right?” or “I want space.” 15. You find yourself begging for the bare minimum: love, care, sex, attention, reciprocity, etc. This is often a result of their lack of enthusiasm towards you. The signs are always there. Crystal clear. Human beings are not that deep. When someone likes you, you will know. When they no longer like you, you will also know. Hope just blurs the line. Leave with your dignity when you notice most of the aforementioned signs.

Breakups are so terrible. I’m never the type to laugh at people grieving the end of a relationship because I understand what it means to be there. I’ve been there myself, and I know how badly it hurts and how difficult it can be to move on. This is exactly one of the reasons I’m a good listener and a safe space for anyone going through heartbreak. You’ll go through the five stages of grief. 1. Denial You’ll think they didn’t mean the breakup text. So, after three days of no contact, you’ll reach out to ask, “So this is it?” “So it’s truly over?” “This is how you give up on us and everything we shared?” They’ll give you a very cold response or, even worse, ignore you completely. You’ll begin to wonder if they ever loved you in the first place. But you’re still in denial, so you’ll keep hoping they’ll come around. You can’t even bring yourself to delete their contact or pictures yet. 2. Anger You’ll begin to feel frustrated and resentful towards them, asking yourself, “Why me?” This is the stage where many people say terrible things about their exes, fuelled by hurt and resentment. You begin to focus on everything they did wrong, everything you sacrificed, and how unfair the whole situation feels. 3. Bargaining You begin to ask yourself questions like, “Where did I mess up?” and “What could I have done differently?” You start blaming yourself for the role you played in the breakup, even when it wasn’t your fault. You may even consider negotiating with them to see if they’ll give you another chance. You begin to imagine different outcomes and wonder if there’s anything you could say or do to change their mind. 4. Depression This is the most gut-wrenching phase of grief after a heartbreak. You’re so deeply hurt that you can almost feel the pain in your chest. I once heard about a guy who was at a crusade, crying bitterly. When someone close to him became concerned and moved closer to find out what was wrong, they heard him literally begging God to take the pain away. He wanted God to remove the thought of his ex-girlfriend from his heart because it was k!lling him. If you’ve never experienced heartbreak, you might think he was overreacting. But if you have, you’ll understand. You wake up sad. Music, perfumes, restaurants, pictures, and random things that remind you of them become triggers that send you spiralling into sadness all over again. Now, that’s not even the saddest thing about it. The saddest thing is that while you’re going through all these stages of grief, they might be out there having the time of their lives. Going to parties, going on dates, posting on social media, and dating or sleeping with someone new. You’re the one who’s hurting. You’re the one struggling to make sense of everything that happened. And while it’s taking you months to heal, they have moved on a long time ago. And healing is not linear. One month after the breakup, you wake up feeling whole. It’s as if you’ve gotten over them completely. You’re happy again, and for the first time in a long time, you feel like yourself. Then, on one random Tuesday, you wake up with a heavy heart, and it feels as though you’re back to square one. You’re not. Healing simply doesn’t happen in a straight line. 5. Acceptance This is the final stage of grief after a heartbreak. In the stages I mentioned before this one, every day you wake up, the breakup is the first thing on your mind. But one day, it becomes the second thing. Eventually, you get to a point where you finally have the courage to block them, delete their contact and pictures, and accept things for what they are. Then, one day, you’ll be brushing your teeth, cooking a meal, or doing something completely random, and it will suddenly dawn on you that you haven’t thought about them in a while. You haven’t thought about the breakup in weeks or even months. None of it.

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If you still hate your ex you still feel something for them. The opposite of love is not hate. It is indifference. The last stage of healing is when they no longer have the power to trigger any emotion out of you. People are only special because we make them feel special. Until you can hear their name being mentioned, see a picture of them, the thought of them, or bump into them without feeling anything, you have not healed.

When I was in primary school, there was this woman who was the ONLY person who knew how to pronounce my name properly. My teachers pronounced it wrongly. In fact, my parents pronounced it wrongly and I kept correcting everyone. But this woman knew it and as if she knew how much I love my name, she made sure to call me by my name every time she sees me. In fact, I used to intentionally pass by her house when going to or coming back from school so I could hear someone call me my name the way it is correctly pronounced. I can’t forget her in this life for this reason. I love my name so much that I would rather tell a stranger my nickname than my actual name because more often than not, people don’t pronounce it well, and I get tired of correctly them. And I do this especially because I don’t like my name being pronounced wrongly because, again, I love my name so much. I particularly love my friends who call me by my name everytime they want to talk to me or text me. And oh, I have not met up to five people in my entire life who bears my name.

The easiest thing to know in this life is someone who is genuinely interested in you. The second easiest thing to know is someone who isn’t.