Jakob Bottoms 🎙️

The only advice you need if you are in your 20s. If you’re in your 20s, here’s something men over 30 usually wish they understood earlier: this decade is not about being comfortable, impressive, or “figured out.” It’s about building a strong sense of self through action, friction, and failure. You don’t discover who you are by thinking harder but you discover it by committing to things fully and letting life push back. Pick pursuits that scare you a little. Work on problems that feel slightly above your current ability. Put your ego on the line. The confidence you want later doesn’t come from success alone; it comes from knowing you survived your own doubts and kept going. Pursue things with all your might, not halfway. Half-effort is the fastest way to stay confused. When you go all in on something - a career path, a craft, a business, a sport, a creative pursuit, you get clarity fast. Either it works and compounds, or it fails and teaches you something real. Both outcomes are wins. What hurts you long-term is drifting, constantly hedging, always keeping one foot out so you can avoid embarrassment. Embarrassment is cheap. Regret is expensive. Fail big while the cost is low. Your 20s are the safest time to make mistakes that feel catastrophic but aren’t. Start things that might not work. Move cities. Say yes to opportunities you don’t feel ready for. Take risks in love and relationships instead of playing it safe to protect your image. Heartbreaks will happen, and they should. They teach you emotional regulation, empathy, boundaries, and humility in a way nothing else does. A man who has never been broken a little tends to break others later. Develop character, not a persona. Stop trying to look successful and focus on becoming capable. Learn how to sit with discomfort without running to distractions. Learn how to be alone without feeling empty. Learn how to lose without becoming bitter. Learn how to win without becoming arrogant. These traits don’t show up on LinkedIn, but they quietly determine the quality of your life in your 30s and beyond. Finally, understand that time compounds more than talent. Small daily actions - training your body, sharpening your mind, building skills, maintaining friendships, working on something meaningful - add up faster than you expect. You don’t need to rush, but you do need to be intentional. The men who thrive later aren’t the ones who avoided pain; they’re the ones who faced it early, learned from it, and kept moving forward with clarity and self-respect. And always know that there are people out there who walk the same road , they are great because they choose to do the same thing daily with feedback loops in place.