Punished Piece of Shit

I thought since it was Halloween I’d show the girls my attempted homunculus I keep in a secret shrine behind my bed. It’s made out of their hair and a lot of my cum. I thought that was romantic

If you ever read my posts and are disappointed and disgusted imagine how disappointing and disgusting having sex with me would be. I’d like to have sex one day and find out

Sometimes I imagine skeletons playing music on their rib cage and I become so terrified I can’t speak for days

If I had a sister I’d definitely be in jail

i miss penis inspection day from middle school. no one at the office is nostalgic enough to want to bring it back

rip to my beloved son who died when his mother left him in the car on a hot summer day and forgot about him. He was 19.

There should be a separate driving test that you can take blackout and if you pass it they should let you drive drunk

when the school shooter kicks down the door and sees me furiously jerking my tattered penis, I look him dead in the face and say "let's see who shoots first"

All women are fat and ugly until you prove otherwise by sending me a series of increasingly risqué photos

“I’m the Halloween rapist” “I don’t know who that is” “You will”

Everyone keeps telling me nice child predator costume but I haven’t even dressed up yet

if i see a pill, no matter what it looks like or where I am, I will take it. I'm either immortal or functionally dead already

People will be like "it's never wrong to steal from le heckin evil corporations like Wal-Mart" and then not ring up 5 cases of dr. pepper and 20 pounds of catfood through self checkout

I let my Minotaur out of the rape labyrinth ONCE and now he’s a demon people blame for starting a fire. Never again.

They don’t really like it when I leave depositions to rub one out either so what the fuck

How can a woman be against abortion but for breast reductions? Both of those things spit in the face of God

When people find out I’m an attorney, there are only two possible responses. Either they believe there must be some sort of hidden intelligence behind the walls of slop I post, or they think less of the entire legal profession, system, and the whole world.

Girls who keep their DMs open usually need some kind of jarring event to scare them into closing them. I am that event