🚨👽🍻 Our new album ‘CONTENT’ is available everywhere now! #dietpunk

We'll be at @Summerfest tomorrow 1:15pm on the Miller stage, along w/ @goldfingermusic @luckyboysmusic @LakeDriveBand @harrisongordo13 + #showoffpunk! #dietpunk

We are now called GuardWhale 🐳🐳🐳🐳🐳 This post brought to you by April Fools Day. If you’re not a fool, go listen to our musics 💖 #dietpunk

🔥Making our MAINE debut on friday 3/22. Tix at the link in bio. See you there, feed us lobster while we play please 🦞💕 #dietpunk

🔥NEW HAMPSHIRE we’re gonna be all up in you on thursday 3/21. Tix are only $5 at the door, have you ever seen a better deal? Fuckin doubt it. See you there⚡️💕

🚨💀 Oh dang we’re playing more shows in more places. Making our New England debut with some rad bands in NH, ME, MA, & NY. If you’re a person in/near one of these places, come party 🥳 #dietpunk

Pizza bagels are not a good indicator of time

🏈😴 Celebrate football sports day today by picking up tix to Snüzfest & entering our merch giveaway (link in bio). Stoked to see Taylor get some touchdown goals 👏🍻 #dietpunk

Kevin: “where even are we right now?” Alyssa: “in my nightmares…”

😤😤😤😤😤

☠️ THIS WEEK we’re playing SHOWS in PLACES! Shoutout to Gary of @weekendrunclub for filling in for Doug on drums for these. See you in Louisville, Nashville, Atlanta & Memphis! SHOWS! PLACES! 🔥 #dietpunk

🚨 NEXT WEEK! Kicking off 2024 by heading south for the winter. Playing shows in places we’ve never been. If you live in these places, come to these shows & say hi 🥰 #dietpunk

🎶 Deez nuts roasting on an open fire 🥜🔥

🎄🐶 Here’s to everyone spending the holiday with their fur babies. Merry Christmas from our dogs to yours 💕 #dietpunk youtu.be/t4PQ_0bXcY4?si=7PYI…

❄️ HAPPY FESTIVUS! Kevin & Xack will be celebrating at @subtchicago tonight with Sea Of Cars, Blue Car, Alleys And Gangways, & Rocky Point Holiday. We’re on last at 10. Be sure to stretch for the feats of strength 😤 #dietpunk #festivusfortherestofus

🚨😴 SNÜZFEST 2024! Get your pj’s & pillows ready for our 7th annual punk rock pajama party. We have some of our favorite bands joining us this year & we are STOKED. Link in bio for tix 🌜🛏️🧸 #dietpunk

🚨 Kicking off 2024 by heading south for the winter. Hitting some places we’ve never been. If you live in these places, come say hi 🥰 Perhaps a sleepy announcement tomorrow? 🤔😴 #dietpunk

🤩 Thank you for streaming our CONTENT this year. May our lord Jupiter bestow blessings upon you for all eternity 🙏💖