@HAARP_UK

Huddersfield Altitude Aerosol & Reagent Propagation. Yorkshire’s best parody Chemtrail and geoengineering deployment service. Making it grim up north since 1992

 Huddersfield, England
Joined March 2022
  • Tweets1.2K
  • Following71
  • Followers2.2K
293Media
We thought we’d never have to explicitly state this, and I know this will come as a shock to some of you but… This is a parody account. To take the piss Out of people who believe in chemtrails. Most of our followers are sensible and seem to like a laugh but… A 🧵.
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The SprayDAR® view from the British Orbital Observational Biosphere Satellite shows lines of Dihydrogen Monoxide over the UK with darker lines of Hydrogen Hydroxide. All our #chemtrails are Safe and Effective™ and Government Approved.
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A large sum of money was recently given to us by a foreign billionaire who is a craptocurrency investor. We used it to upgrade our Containment Unit for Noxious Toxins at our facility at Barnsley International Airport. They look really cool and sinister in a sciency sort of way.
🤖 Made with AI
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Sorry for the emergency alert to all phones. Work experience boy pressed the wrong button.
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If you get your A level results today and are a bit disappointed then don’t worry. Even with a C and two U grades you can join our fabulous course at the Sheffield Higher Institute of Technology.
HAARP UK@HAARP_UK27 May 2025
For all those leaving school this summer who are looking for a rewarding and exciting career, chemtrails applied sciences may be for you. Study in the heart of rural Yorkshire with an organisation with global expertise and prestige.
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Tonight we are having a trial run of “Operation Sunblock” using our specially modified Boing 737 with sunblocking attachment. Have a look out for it around 7pm this evening. The sunblock is chemical free, Vegan, and Halal and developed entirely in Yorkshire.
🤖 Made with AI
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We’ve deployed our gay chemtrails today to make beautiful sunshine over the south coast for Brighton Pride day. In order to maintain balance in the ecosystem we’ve made it rain on Laurence Fox.
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Who is this Fauci bloke and why is he all over our X feed? Is he something to do with Chemtrails?
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Ever wondered what happens to all the poo collected during NHS bowel cancer tests? We put it in the chemtrails! Poo contains more than 70% Dihydrogen Monoxide with the other 30% made up of sweetcorn and other elements of the periodic table. If you get sent a test. Use it.
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Know your #chemtrails The chemtrail of the day is called a “Stratos chemtrail”. Named because it smells like the 1970s men’s fragrance “Blue Stratos” which was a popular armpit spray at the time. Major ingredients are a compound of Argon and Selenium (Ar₂Se₄) and badger mucus
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Know your #chemtrails The chemtrail of the day is called a “Cillicuntulous chemtrail”. These trails are made by passing frequencies through an illudium-Q36 medium and remain a favourite of internet trail spotters. Search for ‘frequency’ on X and see their ridiculous posts.
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Know your #chemtrails The chemtrail of the day is called a “Citrus chemtrail”. These chemtrails were invented in Florida near the orange groves around the city of Peniscola. These trails have a high concentration of Dihydrogen Monoxide which can cause burns in gaseous form.
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Want your ashes scattered when you die? Scatter them all over the sky with HAARP UK’s new funeral service. Contact us for details via the usual channels.
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Maintaining the illusion of outer space in order to hide #flatEarth is a full time job involving many subcontractors coordinated by Them™. The problem today is NASA left the fake moon out again and we’re now having to hide it with #chemtrails.
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We have been working with Them™ to improve our chemtrail formula. Coming soon to a sky near you will be our patented Dihydrogen Monoxide mix, now with added FOLIC ACID. Even with this modification our chemtrails remain vegan, halal, kosher and gluten free!
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We have seen several posts saying that They™ are drying out the clouds which causes heatwaves. It’s true. We have been storing the dried up clouds and we are now in a position to offer to you our latest product. Make your own clouds with our amazing…
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Official apology from HAARP UK. While we are pleased to see that the graduates of meteorology degrees obtained from the “University of 1976” appear to have finally shut the fuck up, our geoengineering operations planned for next week are likely to bring them back again. Sorry.
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All year our X feed has been full of people blaming us when it’s cold, cloudy or wet. So tomorrow’s chemtrail operations are due to ramp up the heat as we deploy our Synthetic Heat Invection Technology. That will deal with all those complaints and we can now all be happy.
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WEATHER WARNING With soaring temperatures this week, prepare for the following scenarios: - people whining that weather maps are using red colours because sinister plot etc. - tedious people saying “remember summer 1976, we didn’t all die then blah blah”. - sunburn. ☁️✈️
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We’re out and about early over the UK today deploying our Airborne Sunscreen Spray. Even though it is a factor 95 screen, it is hyperalergenic, odourless, vegan, kosher and halal. We believe protection from the sun is inclusive for everyone.
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We cannot wait. Aliens abducting Scottish football fans will be massively entertaining. I give it 10 minutes until the aliens bring them back again and leave, never to return.
Grace Bella Ashford
@RealGraceBellaJun 12
🔮BREAKING: A Brazilian psychic with 23 million followers says a UFO mothership will show up at the World Cup in Miami on June 24 to abduct 700 people, including the players on the pitch. This will take place during the Scotland vs. Brazil game.🧐 Trump released UFO files. The Pentagon admitted UAPs are real. Steven Spielberg dropped a disclosure movie. And now a Brazilian psychic with 23 million followers has dreamed that a mothership will abduct 700 people at the World Cup on June 24. We said “UFO contact” is coming to serve the agenda of the shadowy elite. The moon landing was the last time they needed a universal distraction this big.
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