the same people bemoaning the death of “third places” are never the same ones calling for a revival of opium dens

my favourite halloween tradition is being reminded of how absurdly hot sarah jessica parker is in hocus pocus.

these turned out comically bad. probably the worst thing i’ve ever baked. typically i would delete this out of shame but i feel it best i leave this up as a reminder of my failure.

hello my name is “moron commenting on your post with 1k+ likes,” this is my first time ever encountering a joke and my culture it is a deep sign of respect to interpret the written word in its most literal sense.

“clever works tax you madness hopes” — #fridgle 73 fridgle.net/p/yc1

i’ve noticed that the people in montreal who display the most boorish and antisocial behaviours are almost always speaking english. i wonder what that’s about.

i enjoy that the things at the winners checkout are items which don’t exist anywhere else on earth and should probably be illegal.

fish time.

any joke can be perceived as a racist towards japanese people joke if you squint enough.

i introduced my upstairs neighbour to my former dealer and since then i’ve noticed a lot more yelling and heavy footsteps from his apartment. i’m sure that’s nothing.

stoning has fallen out of favour as a means of social control due to changes in material conditions (no stones just laying around.) if someone did some nefarious deed or other malfeasance in front of me i would have nothing to pelt them with. they would simply walk away scot free

doing the squat and cough at psych ward intake and one of those magic handkerchiefs that just keeps going and going pops out.

time traveller who vehemently opposes great man theory and goes back in time to shoot the material conditions that engendered the nazi party’s rise to power.