She wouldn't agree to a hypothetical scenario involving my celebrity crush..
#MyReasonsToEndARelationship
Blame it on the owlcohol..
#RuinAnythingWithOnomatopoeia
Sorry about this polar vortex guys.. I shouldn't have let my wife go to the north pole.. I always knew she was full of hot air.. I just didn't realize she could blow that hard..
#TellUsAJoke
Bad, bad Leroy Brown.. The baddest man in the whole damned town..
#FoundInMyWickedGarden


