Pinned Tweet
The universe is born. 13.8 billion years pass. 200 billion trillion stars are born. A band of murderous monkeys on a rock circling one of these stars says, “We must be the reason for all this.” Shortly after, the monkeys blow themselves up.
I bought a new book and started a bubble bath and was so excited, and 5 pages in, I shut the book and went, “Ah, well, never mind.”
British people make snacks sound so delicious. Do I want a packet of crisps? A PACKET of CRISPS? Incredible. Mouth-watering. Yes, please, a packet of crisps sounds life-changing. Oh, it’s just a bag of chips.
The phrase, “That’s a common misconception” is supposed to make you feel better but what I hear is, “Not only are you wrong but you are wrong in the most plebeian and unpoetic way possible. You are, to me, confirmation of materialism and the lack of a human soul.”
Jessica Fox retweeted
My favorite ancient artifact is 2000 year old graffiti from Roman tourists complaining that Egyptian tombs are boring and they should have vacationed somewhere else
I’m not sure I get the appeal of being rich. You have a special, special purse? Your house has a lot of area? I just don’t get it.
I have been teaching myself to juggle in the evenings the past few days and I spend the whole time thinking about how hectic my life is right now so why am I *juggling*… and just now, 3 balls in the air, I went, “OHMYGOD I’M DOING A BAD VISUAL METAPHOR” — who is writing this?
When you make me wake up at 8am (the devil’s hour) and I show up with a big round bruise in the center of my forehead because yesterday I stuck a suction cup on it to be funny and I didn’t know it would make a big bruise on my forehead, that says more about you than about me
Jessica Fox retweeted
Watching this video with sound off is kind of beautiful… when the flailing hands reach toward the burger it becomes something profound
I don’t believe in paranormal stuff but I think it’s funny to be judgmental about people who do considering our origin story is that a little math exploded & made an infinite universe & then some oceanic jacuzzi water mixed with acids & turned into a cell that began feeling stuff
tricking myself into giving up on my math homework by convincing myself that I’m a “vanilla sky situation” and all the math is “fake”
Ahhhh!! Ahhhhh!! Sean Carroll has a new book out and it’s about fields! Everybody get it and we can talk about it! In a field!
Nothing better than a good quantum-mechanical book promotion. Barnes & Noble Rewards and Premium Members get 25% off all pre-orders from Jan 24 - 26. Pre-order your copy of QUANTA AND FIELDS now! barnesandnoble.com/w/quanta-…
I saw a bumper sticker that said, “Not all who wander are lost” next to a photograph of a moose. As if a shining example of this idea is a large antlered man who has been trampling through the woods for twenty years and can’t read a map
mostly I am not interested in the Barbie movie because I won’t get any of the jokes since my beloved childhood toys were a pair of nunchucks and a Chuck Norris instructional nunchuck vhs tape