Just here for the giggles

Joined May 2024
One of the most evil things you can do is fart in an elevator
2
1
32
Every time I see a video of someone doing barbell lunges I think I’m about to see a horrific injury
27
I gotta be somewhere in the 4.5 billion range of men alive
People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive throughout the years: 2026: Noah Wyle 2025: Jonathan Bailey 2024: John Krasinki 2023: Patrick Dempsey 2022: Chris Evans 2021: Paul Rudd 2020: Michael B. Jordan 2019: John Legend 2018: Idris Elba 2017: Blake Shelton 2016: Dwayne Johnson 2015: David Beckham 2014: Chris Hemsworth 2013: Adam Levine 2012: Channing Tatum 2011: Bradley Cooper 2010: Ryan Reynolds 2009: Johnny Depp 2008: Hugh Jackman 2007: Matt Damon 2006: George Clooney
1
50
Is this Pilates?
🧘‍♂️❤️‍🩹 Kristy Sarah assures fans that she is “healing” months after her split from ex-husband Desmond Scott. 🎥: Instagram/ kristy.sarah
22
Sorry Eddie rules for this. Sometimes you can just tell when a kid sucks
Noah Wyle says Eddie Murphy told him to “fuck off” when he asked for an autograph at 9. “I met Eddie Murphy once when I was a kid. I asked him for his autograph, and I said, ‘I really like you on SNL.’ He goes, ‘What are you doing up that late?’ And I said, ‘Can I have your autograph?’ He goes, ‘Fuck off, man.’” “I was 9. Now I always sign an autograph whenever a 9-year-old needs one. I sign that so fast.” Years later, his daughter turned the story into a birthday gift. “I’ve told this story in my house, and last year for my birthday, my 10-year-old daughter didn’t know what to get me. So she printed up a picture of Eddie Murphy and wrote, ‘Dear Noah, you’re a great kid, Eddie Murphy.’ She spelled Eddie E-d-d-y, and I have it framed in my office.” “She came up with the story. She’s like, ‘Dad, you’re never gonna believe who I saw yesterday. Eddie Murphy. And we got what you’ve always wanted, his autograph.’ Then they gave me the gifts. She’s a doll. She’s the best.”
3
8
625
My neck just popped in a way that freaked me the fuck out
2
50
idc if i end up blind and crippled at least i wont have body dysmorphia❤️
Ozempic is out of control. The amount of people who I know that are like half the size they were few months ago is crazy. I just hope there are no side effects that will leave people suffering.
1
2
227
People love to accuse me of mischief and to tomfoolery
36
Brett retweeted
1
14
1
46
835
It’s called a midlife crisis
tom segura and ethan klein nuked their marriages right after losing a ton of weight, what is this phenomenon called?
2
33
557
I’d turn around and tell everyone that it happens to me all the time due to my freakish strength
A brand-new employee made a smashing start to her career at a Texas salon, as the glass sliding door she was closing exploded into hundreds of tiny pieces, leaving her client and other employees stunned.
68
I know Brett wrote at least one of these letters as a kid
Unhinged letters sent by school kids to US service members deployed overseas.
2
9
415
I seriously doubt Jeremiah was a bullfrog. Have you ever met a bullfrog named Jeremiah in your life? I haven’t
2
6
236
I got to take a piss your honor
4
194
Brett retweeted
my stomach was really upset before therapy today, so i devastated my therapist's bathroom before i went in and the first thing out of her mouth was 'i hope you're feeling better'. absolutely diabolical behavior
15
135
3
12,887
110,986
What we all eating for dinner?
96
Brett retweeted
Pat McAfee thinking he’s important enough to get assassinated is much funnier than anytime he’s taken his shirt off
51
1,157
27
26,470
420,357
It be cool if Aikman and Buck got in a knock down drag out in the booth on live television
2
348
Look at the grace Pip runs up those stairs with. Like a gazelle I tell you
2
1
12
486