TV on the Hillside

Coach: I don't yell in New York because everyone yells there and it's less meaningful, but I will yell here! #NewGirl – at Silver Spring, MD

Ben: I'm so sorry. He just seemed like the same old Bob to me. Jonah: Uh, ma'am, this morning he told me the Jews cause hurricanes. #Veep – at Germantown, MD

Morgan: Speaking of friends... would it kill you to respond to an email? It's not spam, I can get really cheap Cialis. #TheMindyProject – at Silver Spring, MD

Schmidt: Have you seen a girl wandering around? Um... looks like a drawing of a best friend that an eight-year-old would make? #NewGirl – at Silver Spring, MD

Emery: Permission to extend bed time so we can solve the case? Louis: Crime doesn't sleep... and neither should you. #FreshOffTheBoat – at Silver Spring, MD

Go to my apartment. No one knows where I live. I thought you had Amy over there once. Yeah, it was fun. I moved the next day. #Brooklyn99 – at Germantown, MD

Fran: I love you! Hannah: I would be happy to pay for an Uber to transport you and your things back to your home. #GirlsHBO – at Germantown, MD

Hannah: Ray, you're the truest and most loving friend I've ever had. Ray: Okay, that's sad. #GirlsHBO – at Germantown, MD

Gina: You could've just used air quotes. Captain Holt: I could also wear short pants and drink from a jug that says "XXX." #Brooklyn99 – at Maryland, USA

Knife and fork mean it's an affordable restaurant, and this is a machete. This is where someone macheted another person in half. #BroadCity – at Maryland, USA

Favorite type of soup? Chicken noodle. Potato leek. Corn frickin' noodle. Ah, I mean chowder. Dammit. You're all wrong. I've never had soup. – at Maryland, USA

Michael: He's desperate for some wiggle room with his guest list. And by that I mean he wants to invite the actual Wiggles. #JaneTheVirgin – at Maryland, USA

Cain was the skinny one in the bible. Mom, you have no idea what Cain looked like. He was literally the 3rd person on earth. #CarmichaelShow – at New Brunswick, NJ

Adam: If "Rainbow Connection" doesn't move you to tears, then you're not alive! #TheGoldbergs #Truth @TheMuppets @KermitTheFrog – at New Brunswick, NJ

Nick: I gotta get back to the bar. I just got a text from Javier that said "fire extinguisher?" #NewGirl – at Maryland, USA

1. Open Marriage 2. Well-spoken 3. Homeopathic Remedy 4. State-run 5. Father-Daughter 6. Oil Company 7. Discount Sushi #LastWeekTonight – at Maryland, USA

Jerrod: It made us realize we could go to college. I mean, we didn't, but we knew we could. And that ain't nothin'. #CarmichaelShow – at Ohio, USA

Ruth: I hear you've been a bad boy today. Stabbing a child? Owen: I'm a doctor, Ruth. I only kill children by accident. #ChildrensHospital – at Ohio, USA

Riley: Yeah, Dad, you're more than a teacher. You're like a father to me. Corey: Thanks, Riley. #GirlMeetsWorld #GirlMeetsLegacy – at Ohio, USA

Our #Survivor podcast is up now! We talk heatstroke, essential personnel, and Neal's coffee! soundcloud.com/onthehillside… – at Savannah, GA