It's funny how store mannequins can be naked but the second you take off your pants people want to call security.
Watching TLC. A man got too big and had to be cut out of his house. That happened to my friend but they called it a c-section.
If you didn't win the Powerball tonight don't be sad. You're still old enough to buy any cereal you want so you've already won.
You don't need the Powerball. If you can reach the stove to make a grilled cheese any time of day you're already blessed.
So what if you didn't win the Powerball? If you eat Reese's cups year-round you're already rich in the only way that matters.
The goal was always to get dessert whether or not you finished dinner. You made it. You're living the dream.
The winner of the Powerball will never know who their real friends are. You're broke. People like you for you.