Dale Carnegie | Influence & People Skills

Names are the sweetest and most important sound in any language.

It isn’t what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it.

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“A great man shows his greatness,” said Carlyle, “by the way he treats little men.”

As Dr. Johnson said: “God himself, sir, does not propose to judge man until the end of his days.” Why should you and I?

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The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.

There is nothing else that so kills the ambitions of a person as criticisms from superiors. I never criticize anyone. I believe in giving a person incentive to work. If I like anything, I am hearty in my approbation and lavish in my praise.

I have yet to find the person, however great or exalted his station, who did not do better work and put forth greater effort under a spirit of approval than he would ever do under a spirit of criticism.

"Don't be impressed by money, followers, degrees, and titles. Be impressed by kindness, integrity, humility, and generosity." - @FeynmanBot

Carnegie wanted to praise his assistants even on his tombstone. He wrote an epitaph for himself which read: “Here lies one who knew how to get around him men who were cleverer than himself.”

Hurting people not only does not change them, it is never called for.

I shall pass this way but once; any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness that I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.

Emerson said: “Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him.” If that was true of Emerson, isn’t it likely to be a thousand times more true of you and me?

Let’s cease thinking of our accomplishments, our wants. Let’s try to figure out the other person’s good points. Then forget flattery. Give honest, sincere appreciation.

Why talk about what we want? That is childish. Absurd. Of course, you are interested in what you want. You are eternally interested in it. But no one else is. The rest of us are just like you: we are interested in what we want.

Thousands of salespeople are pounding the pavements today, tired, discouraged and underpaid. Why? Because they are always thinking only of what they want. They don’t realize that neither you nor I want to buy anything. If we did, we would go out and buy it.

Self-expression is the dominant necessity of human nature.

When we have a brilliant idea, instead of making others think it is ours, why not let them cook and stir the idea themselves. They will then regard it as their own; they will like it and maybe eat a couple of helpings of it.

Remember: First, arouse in the other person an eager want. He who can do this has the whole world with him. He who cannot walks a lonely way.