Cow

Sperm donor jokes are a lot like Dad jokes, You just don't see them coming.

In this world, there's: - The popular ones - The nerdy ones - The athletic ones - Me passed out in the back booth of an Applebee's after way too many Dollaritas because that deal is way too good to pass up and I ordered 17, and I ain't gonna waste alcohol - The chill ones

It's been, 1 week since you took a pee. Go see your doctor, she is very angry.

"You're a jack of all trades, and unemployed in all of them" is my new favourite insult.

World's first 99 in Runescape Reignited! 🎉🎉 Very happy about this achievement!📷📷 😍😍

still not using your shitty service

Congratulations New York Jets! You won a game in the final seconds after doing everything in your power to lose it!! You didn't buttfumble to a dogshit franchise! If only you could do this against good opponents!

Gonna find myself an island to live on by myself and call it "Clitoris Island" so nobody finds it.

My friends after I ask them what case/key combo I should use while doing a CS Case opening

Maybe a hot take? There's no problem with this, especially being tied STRICTLY to PvE. If you don't want it, don't pay for it. It doesn't change your experience in an AI PMC sandbox. Why the negative overreaction?

the fuck do I even say at this point? it's another typical fucking year with the Jets. We allowed 268 yards to TYSON. BAGENT. Sell the team, Woody.

What the fuck happened to my algorithm?

😞

My friend: I won't do that dare! Me:

What a good night.

What if we kissed at the peak of Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuakitanatahu?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HOW DO YOU THROW THE GAME EVERY FUCKING TIME? HOW DO YOU PLAY GOOD FOR 3 1/2 QUARTERS AND *CHOKE* IN THE LAST 10 MINUTES *EVERY FUCKING GAME*???? WHY ARE THE NEW YORK JETS THE WAY THAT THEY ARE? SELL THE FUCKING TEAM, WOODY.

To the ex I eliminated last night from my last Fortnite match of the evening, Sit the fuck down, we were the better team and got the W. Back to the lobby you go!

good morning