SpongeBob

Dating me is like dating a 12 year old cause I'm almost never serious and I'm always joking around and being sarcastic

weather be like: mon - 75° ☀ tues - 22° ❄ wed - 57° ⛅ thurs - 30° ☔ fri - 80°☀ (with a chance of snow)

i’m always: 1.annoyed 2.hungry 3.annoyed

Beedrill, Venomoth, Scyther #PokemonGOTourContest

GO VOTE #BidenForPresident

I wonder if brooms will stay up by themselves in the ocean.

In a couple thousand years archaeologists will dig up tanning beds and think we fried people as punishment.

In my life: I've lived, I've loved, I've lost, I've missed, I've hurt, I've trusted, I've made mistakes. But most of all, I've learned.

weather be like: mon - 75° ☀ tues - 22° ❄ wed - 57° ⛅ thurs - 30° ☔ fri - 80°☀ (with a chance of snow)

As a teenager, you look for every excuse to drive. As an adult, you look for every excuse not to drive.

emailing professors be like me: *polite greeting, multiple paragraphs, perfect grammar* professor: "sure" -sent from my iphone

Retweet if you played any Basketball 🏀 Football 🏈 Volleyball 🙌 Baseball ⚾ Hockey ❄ Soccer ⚽ Tennis 🎾 Golf ⛳ Cheer 🎉 Track 🏃 Dance 👯 Wrestle💪

In a couple thousand years archaeologists will dig up tanning beds and think we fried people as punishment.

The sad moment when you return to your ordinary life after watching an awesome movie..

When you look something up on Amazon and suddenly it shows up as an ad on every app on your phone

Friend: I never said that. Me:

Making fake emails to start new trials.

college is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world

The second you get string cheese and become a kid again and start stringing it one at a time.

Every new McDonald's creates 40 jobs. 20 dentists and 20 heart surgeons!