James Connor (@JamesConnor__) profile picture

James Connor

@JamesConnor__
Joined January 2016
  • Tweets4.4K
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  • Followers85
My wife made fun of my (admittedly) ugly balls again. I shall now drop the charade that I am a 'feminist.'
'I'm just playing devil's advocate here. but_' *The Devil appears* 'Please do not advocate for me. you are the fucking worst.'
The home cooked pizza box says to cook the pizza between 14 and 16 minutes. That's 15 minutes. right? I'm not reading too much into it?
If i was the Grinch. I wouldn't steal Christmas. I'd steal you.
#DonaldTrump offers to meet Kim Jong-un as Pentagon warns only invasion can disarm #NorthKorea goo.gl/YeJqd2

Donald Trump offers to meet Kim Jong-un as Pentagon warns only invasion can disarm North Korea

Donald Trump last night offered an unexpected diplomatic olive branch to North Korea, indicating he would "certainly be open" to sitting down for personal talks with Kim Jong-un.

telegraph.co.uk
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People’s Republic of #China Grants #Trump An Honor No Foreign Leader Has Had Since Its Founding goo.gl/q48Up5
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Must be tough for an honest Nigerian businessman to make a living.
The creepiest thing you can do is drive next to someone on the highway at the exact same speed.
Once a guy at the grocery store yelled at me to stop talking on a banana like a phone so I hung up and shot him with it.
whats that lassie? Bark Timmys in a well? Bark and hes jerkin it? Bark hes looking at what?! Bark dude Ive heard enough
You might think you're smart until you try using someone else's microwave.
If you have more than zero bumper stickers on your car you have too many.
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There seems to be a direct correlation between how many rosaries you have hanging on your rearview and how shitty a driver you are.
1. Ask for something. 2. Throw it down. 3. Repeat steps 1 & 2. - Toddler To Do List
A pinata at my funeral so people will be happy.. but filled with bees so they're not too happy.
[pelvic thrusting around the kitchen] Gettin jiggy wit it what's it look like?
#JFKFiles 6 Conspiracy Theories On JFK Shoot Out storyviral.com/?ref=62e8x5q
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When my friends are sad. i send them a long ass paragraph. but when I'm sad. they only say 'Oh sorry' or 'Well that sucks'.
Do you love hiding electrical outlets? Well an exciting career in hotel design might be just what you're looking for!
This new digital camera says the shutter speed is so fast you can photograph a hummingbird's wings. or a woman with her mouth shut.
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