THE Jasper Marcus

me at the bar when the 3 tells me I should buy her a drink

Must be dark posting your boyfriend playing golf and his swing is ass

She Le on my Bron till I James

She 6 on my 7 till I 41

She net on my yahu and that is rael

Took shot with formal date and about to throw up. This is why we play.

Afters w the dude who has a girlfriend is so dark for him. Like he could be getting play but instead he’s listening to me ramble on about how the f150 is the cornerstone of america

Was so hammered playing pool I made 3 in a row and I asked guy I was playing each shot what ball I was and then finally I hit the 8 ball in and then he called me a pussy. What the fuck

Smoked the cart down so much I think I was huffing metal at the end. I am not a clanker tho

Call me mister do it all the way I poop and goon at once #goop

B2B leg day because I miss her #pain

“I’m not drinking I drank yesterday” are the worst types of people in the world.

Taking out your phone with pen in same pocket around your parents is like surgery

Girls sorority rush work week makes me realize how men are just so much funnier than women.