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Jesus Fucking Chris† (@JesusFucking) profile picture

Jesus Fucking Chris†

@JesusFucking

go ahead, take my name in vain: @JesusFucking Christ!

 (i'm fuckin' everywhere)
facebook.com/CopulatingChrist
Joined May 2008
  • Tweets433
  • Following1K
  • Followers1K
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Photo by Jesus Fucking Chris† (@JesusFucking)Photo by Jesus Fucking Chris† (@JesusFucking)Photo by Jesus Fucking Chris† (@JesusFucking)Photo by Jesus Fucking Chris† (@JesusFucking)Photo by Jesus Fucking Chris† (@JesusFucking)Photo by Jesus Fucking Chris† (@JesusFucking)Photo by Jesus Fucking Chris† (@JesusFucking)Photo by Jesus Fucking Chris† (@JesusFucking)Photo by Jesus Fucking Chris† (@JesusFucking)
Jesus Fucking Chris† retweeted
Amy Phetamine (@AmyPhetamine) profile picture
Amy Phetamine@AmyPhetamine26 Dec 2022
メリークリスマス
"Japan is still trying to figure out Christmas"

ALT "Japan is still trying to figure out Christmas"

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that'll never fuckin' catch on.
God (@TheTweetOfGod) profile pictureGod
@TheTweetOfGod26 Jun 2022
One day someone should start a religion based on the teachings of Jesus Christ.
Holy Ghosting: “God wants you to know that you’ve got an appointment at the gates of heaven. But he won’t let you keep that appointment if you don’t accept his son into your heart and into your body. Right now.
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Today! If you don’t accept his son, Jesus Christ immediately, he’s going to ghost you at those gates. It’ll be like the worst blind date in the history of ever!” #overheard
My followers are fucking hilarious.
Jordan (@Jonesin4Jordan) profile pictureJordan@Jonesin4Jordan4 May 2022
Replying to @abbyy_giirl
Christians are really trying to convince us that the God who murdered Bathsheba's newborn, killed all the first born sons of Egypt, sent bears to murder little children, commanded Joshua to murder all the children in Jericho, now suddenly cares about “unborn babies.”
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Jesus Fucking Chris† retweeted
Amy Phetamine (@AmyPhetamine) profile picture
Amy Phetamine@AmyPhetamine11 May 2022
Q: What are you looking for in a church? A: Fascist, but with a more ancient vibe than Born Again. Q: So, like Hitler, but with a Pope? A: Where do I sign up? NPR.org/2022/05/10/109674198…
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Who among you has the courage to continue learning?
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Jesus Fucking Chris† retweeted
John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) profile picture
John Fugelsang
@JohnFugelsang13 Dec 2021
Spiritual ppl use religion to become better people. Fundamentalists use religion to pretend they're better people.
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Jesus Fucking Chris† retweeted
Miguel ze Guatemalan (@MiguelZeKelt) profile picture
Miguel ze Guatemalan@MiguelZeKelt11 Feb 2022
Before there was air through which any sound could carry, before there was any heaven above the air, nor any earth below it, the primordial moo was unheard and unseen, known only in the souls of unborn men.
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"the primordial cow"

ALT "the primordial cow"

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I sent you this sign, and yet you still doubt.
Image from Jesus Fucking Chris† (@JesusFucking)
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Please verify your humanity.
Image from Jesus Fucking Chris† (@JesusFucking)
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Jesus Fucking Chris† retweeted
Amy Phetamine (@AmyPhetamine) profile picture
Amy Phetamine@AmyPhetamine27 Dec 2021
CTHULHU: JESUS: No wait, check this out. Look. It's just a small basket of fishes, right? Now, abracadabra ... it's an infinite supply of fish. See? How you gonna sleep tonight, big guy? CTHULHU:
Image from Amy Phetamine (@AmyPhetamine)
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Jesus Fucking Chris† retweeted
Amy Phetamine (@AmyPhetamine) profile picture
Amy Phetamine@AmyPhetamine20 Dec 2021
Secular Confectionist: "Absent belief in any deity, one faithfully observing all holidays involving baked goods or candy." #godless #observance #overheard
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Jesus Fucking Chris† retweeted
Picard Tips (@PicardTips) profile picture
Picard Tips
@PicardTips23 Nov 2021
Picard morality tip: If one side of a conflict preaches purity of bloodline above communal benefit for all, join the other side.
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Jesus Fucking Chris† retweeted
God (@TheTweetOfGod) profile picture
God
@TheTweetOfGod8 Apr 2019
The idea that you evolved from apes is disgusting. Isn't it nicer to believe you all descended from one couple and their incestuous children?
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Rapture balloons! Collect the whole set.
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Jesus Fucking Chris† retweeted
Amy Phetamine (@AmyPhetamine) profile picture
Amy Phetamine@AmyPhetamine31 Jan 2021
#disclaimer "....If you’ve turned your darkest fears of genocide into humor already, you probably don’t need the Jewish Space Laser...." mcsweeneys.net/articles/the-…
The Jewish Space Laser’s Label Disclaimer

The Jewish Space Laser’s Label Disclaimer

“The Jewish Space Laser is a device that emits harsh and unforgiving light beams on powerful idiots who think Jews control the weather or start catastrophic ...

mcsweeneys.net
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Jesus Fucking Chris† retweeted
The Oatmeal (@Oatmeal) profile picture
The Oatmeal
@Oatmeal3 Oct 2019
Written by @ASmallFiction
Image from The Oatmeal (@Oatmeal)
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Jesus Fucking Chris† retweeted
God (@TheTweetOfGod) profile picture
God
@TheTweetOfGod9 Apr 2019
Artificial intelligence isn't a threat to humanity. Natural stupidity is.
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