Funny man!

The people who care the most always get screwed over.

I've still never seen myself blink.

I hate “2-faced” people. It’s so hard to decide which face to slap first.

Embarrassing moments always seem to happen in slow motion.

The cheapest way to pay someone is with money

You know your childhood is over when you fall asleep on the couch and you wake up on the couch.

People who have more than 10 items in the express line... We see you and we are judging you.

GOD Has no phone, but i still talk to him .. GOD Has no Facebook, but he's still my friend .. GOD has no Twitter, but i still follow him

Reasons why I`m fat: 1) I eat when I`m bored. 2) I`m bored all the time.

A book will b released after the summer Titled "My Hitch to Lakewood" we need your help, send your stories [email protected]

Money doesn't buy happiness... But it will buy you a jet-ski. Have you ever seen a sad person on a jet-ski?

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money I'd just laugh and search with them.

The first person that decided to eat a egg, what was he thinking?!

The only kids that go off the derech are those kids that didn't listen to Uncle Moishy growing up!!!

First Rule of Business: Stay out of mine

No, I'm not being immature, I'm having fun. You should try it

Every time someone says EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED I like to punch them in the face and say, not as easy as it sounds, is it?!”

9 year olds have a Blackberry, an iPad, a laptop, & a Facebook... When I was 9, I felt cool with my new markers.

Dear lol, thanx for always being there when I have nothing else to say

BE YOURSELF!" is about the worst advice you can give to some people. @Chusidel don't be yourself!!!