I'm hearing a lot of people talking about these foreign invaders. They say "Jim, these are very bad people. We need to do something about these bad, they're very bad actors, these people." They come over to our beautiful WoW Forever. They try to change it, make it like the place they just left. They're homesick. If I were homesick, I'd go home. They come over here, make their little suggestions. "Boo hoo, there aren't enough flight paths." "Waahh I can't teleport to dungeons." "I can't talk to people. I'm scared!" "What do you mean I can't just buy gold from CHINA?" You think Thrall's going to stop this? Him? He's too busy being PUSSY whipped by Jaina Proudmoore. Frankly it's embarrassing. They're calling it "Retail". Can you believe this? "Retail". They say it's the gayest experience. Their own fans say this. Frankly it's extremely gay. They would never say this about my game, WoW Forever, but these Retail players... They're tremendously gay, if you can believe this. Folks, we're Making Azeroth Great Again, and frankly we can't get these invaders out of here fast enough. Send 'em back to Retail! Send them right over to Retail and let them kiss each other or whatever they do over there. I don't care, but it's where they belong. We're going to send them all back. It's terrific, we're going to fix this country and we're going to send them all back.

Update, you dumb bitch?

I'm very excited to finally hit 5,000 followers! I just need 245,000 more by next week so I can pay my mortgage, so please tell your friends. Thanks, everyone 😉

The best part of Halloween is having sex with my wife while she wears the spooky mask I bought for trick-or-treating. Rather than buying one this year, I've decided that I will fashion a homemade mask, using a photo of her sister.

Buying my sister-in-law nothing but McDonald's gift cards this year so I can die like Giles Corey

The best part of a road trip is gas station chili dogs and that fancy toilet paper they always have that turns red when you're done wiping.

I'm not much of a comics guy, but I've always found myself enthralled by Mystique from X-Men. A woman who could change her appearance completely at will would open up a world of possibilities for me, and I can't help but wonder what it would be like if my wife had such abilities. The only limiting factor would be my own imagination, and finally I would not be constrained by the her aging flesh. She would of course indulge me in my most imaginative fantasies, altering contour, texture, and shape to appease my every desire. I imagine the anticipation building as she leans in close to my ear, whispering of exotic and otherworldly appearances that she yearns to try on for me. An infinite wardrobe of possibilities tailored to fulfil my deepest appetites. I lock eyes and gaze into her, hoping to catch a glimpse of that burning spark the moment it gutters and dies out as it has a thousand times before, as I tell her yet again to make herself look like her sister.

Come on now, that's not even close to the best version. youtube.com/watch?v=bjwgt1kR…

The Legend of Zelda

You will be astonished at how I recoiled, how injured I was, how I suddenly shrunk back: "I’ve been sniffed out." (Keep in mind this was on a post about The Legend of Zelda) xitter.cf/asip888/status/2112921…

I found patient zero of the gay brown person disease that nearly killed Warcraft. Thank you for illustrating for us how far this franchise has fallen. You captured it perfectly.

My condolences if your woman was born after 1993.