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Jimmy Bernardi

@JimmyBoobeddy

Author of The Slappening 👋 👋 👋

favstar.fm/users/JimmyBoobeddy
Joined April 2014
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Y is this called X... amirite!?! oof, that was a bad joke. *jumps down waterslide leading to a pool filled with mashed potatoes
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I wrote a horror-humor book called The Slappening. Thanks in advance if you check it out!! amazon.com/Slappening-Jamie-…
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Jimmy Bernardi retweeted
Mr. Frank (@NJMetal) profile picture
Mr. Frank@NJMetal8 Feb 2022
13% done with The Slappening, by Jamie Benedi: What's Slappening? goodreads.com/user_status/sh…

Frank’s Reading Progress for The Slappening - Feb 07, 2022 05:14PM

Frank added a status: 13% done with The Slappening: What's Slappening? - Feb 07, 2022 05:14PM

goodreads.com
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My niece said she wanted a stuffed animal, so I gave her a raw turkey
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Got new shoes... as soon as I can get them down from those telephone wires.
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Gum only sticks to two things. The ground and people’s hair. BETTER WATCH OUT, BARBER SHOPS!!
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Practical joke. Get a job as a long haul trucker. Speed. Get pulled over. Let cops open the back of the truck. It’s filled with farts 💨
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Thought I signed up for a Zumba class but it’s actually a Roomba class. Now I’m just crawling around a room eating dirt.
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Meant to buy a bag of Doritos, accidentally bought Diarrhea-itos. Delicious! Love the cheese!
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Binging that podcast where Obama interviews Pee-wee Herman.
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Jimmy Bernardi retweeted
nickyshowbiz (@NickyShowbiz) profile picture
nickyshowbiz@NickyShowbiz3 Jan 2022
Alternate Ending to "Midnight in Paris" Owen Wilson’s character is sitting in a padded cell, eating his own shit.
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I can’t tell if these chicken McNuggets are getting thinner, or if my hands are just swelling from the salt
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Macadamia nut cookies low key keeping Subway afloat, real talk motha fuckas!
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Saw a dog pissing on a fire hydrant while a bear was shitting on its head
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Nunchucks are the best for someone who doesn’t own a helicopter
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When I get old I want to feel young... so I’ll get braces for my dentures
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Anybody know a good chiropractor who can crack my knuckles?
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I thought it was Mulan Rouge and not Moulin Rouge! I walked out when there weren’t any dragons
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RIP Norm. This one hurts #RIPNormMacDonald
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buplic hscools r hte wurzst
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