Joe Alexander

Taylor swift takes no days off

I tweeted the same thing in July of 2018 and failed to get this type of spotlight

Vests are more about emotional warmth than physical warmth

Thus far 2021 feels like 2020’s evil smaller sibling, but in a “middle child” type of way that already has me worried about 2022

Happy birthday @RuneScape

Just did the math. My @reeses haul from Christmas was 4.8125lbs of various Reese’s cups. Should last at least most of January right?

Can I get the $2.5 million to count them fish? I’m a great counter

My beard is now “face-ID only works 50% of the time” inches long

Yes that’s called a heartstring, why’d you pull on that

Should’ve been a luchador. I love my mask

“The last thing I want to do is lead any of you guys on.” -the bachelorette as she leads on about 14 dudes, eliminating them one by one like the Predator

I’ve successfully cheated death 10,227 days in a row today

This has been the most roller coaster Monday I’ve had in a looooong time. I wish every Monday was this fun

Almost ran over a Chic Fil A curbside deliverer and SHE apologized to me😭😭 I’m the worst

Murder is wrong Abortion is murder Abortion is wrong

The relationship between morality and legality is tricky business. My current reading reminded me of this helpful explanation from a few days ago:

As I slathered on the BBQ sauce, I said “I’m the Bob Ross of kebabs... I’m keBob Ross.”

Wished the earth happy birthday today. I guess we can mostly agree there’s about 1/365 odds it was an appropriately timed wish