John Morrell (@John__Morrell) header
John Morrell (@John__Morrell) profile picture

John Morrell

@John__Morrell

Founder and Lead Investor of John Morrell Enterprises — Bartender at a shitty restaurant

 Rhode Island
Joined September 2017
  • Tweets1.8K
  • Following1.6K
  • Followers532
360Media
Photo by John Morrell (@John__Morrell)Photo by John Morrell (@John__Morrell)Photo by John Morrell (@John__Morrell)Photo by John Morrell (@John__Morrell)Photo by John Morrell (@John__Morrell)Photo by John Morrell (@John__Morrell)Photo by John Morrell (@John__Morrell)Photo by John Morrell (@John__Morrell)Photo by John Morrell (@John__Morrell)Photo by John Morrell (@John__Morrell)
Congratulations to the city of Philadelphia!
Image from John Morrell (@John__Morrell)
3
1
New National Anthem? Who says no?
Image from John Morrell (@John__Morrell)
Texting my friends working their 9-5s when I’m hungover in bed sipping my second high noon They might have 401K’s — but these benefits are unrivaled
I was so drunk last night I almost tweeted about being drunk at my employee party
2002? So I was murdering hookers and doing digital coke deals when I was 10 years old Explains a lot tbh
Loopify 🧙‍♂️ (@Loopify) profile pictureLoopify 🧙‍♂️
@Loopify22 Oct 2022
video game graphics 2002 vs 2022 (20-year difference)
Image from Loopify 🧙‍♂️ (@Loopify)
Image from Loopify 🧙‍♂️ (@Loopify)
I’m in physical pain from betting the Bears Play stupid games, win stupid prizes
Watching Tony G realize that Russ Wilson sucks in real time is must watch tv. Love this TNF Panel — thanks Bezos
┏┓ ┃┃╱╲ in ┃╱╱╲╲ this ╱╱╭╮╲╲house ▔▏┗┛▕▔ we ╱▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔╲ Bet Aleksei Oleinik every fight ╱╱┏┳┓╭╮┏┳┓ ╲╲ ▔▏┗┻┛┃┃┗┻┛▕▔
1
1
Almost came to blows with a coworker over espresso martini game theory Is there cream in espresso? Is espresso sweet? Is it light colored? Then why the fuck are we putting Baileys in it??? Baileys should be offered, not default!!!
1
2
NFL Sunday —> House of the Dragon —> Sopranos rewatch Billions of years of evolution so I can achieve this level of euphoria
Did you bet the lions? Or are you allergic to alpha?
I’d tweet about how much I LOVE the Lions ML today, but I LOVE the Eagles so much tomorrow night I’m choosing to stake my rep on that game (But also, bet the Lions)
1
If you think the Vikings win tomorrow night, you don’t know who one or two of these people are 1. Kirk Cousins 2. Meek Mill
I consider myself a bit of a gambling addiction advocate. Whenever someone talks about putting in a parlay I tell them I’ll hold the action for them so atleast one of us will make money (like a massive prick) Meanwhile, I have an entire week’s wages on the Lions
1
Obligatory NFL is BACK tweet
Image from John Morrell (@John__Morrell)
How much below asking price do I offer when lowballing people for classic cars on Craigslist? SOS
1
1
I only play two songs on TouchTunes and it depends on where I am 1. Dive bar, 25 or 6 to 4 2. Anywhere else, Pump Up the Jam
I do this bit at the bar where if a guest asks me if I’m a football fan I immediately go level 100 degen and start talking about coaching changes, strength of schedule, and regression to the mean in one score games. Also, would you like to put in any appetizers?
2
2
Calamari? Sure, but first let me tell you about how mainstream media buried Josh Allen and is now running to crown him the toast of the AFC — but here’s the thing, it was Daboll all along! No banana peppers? Okay.
1
I work with straight savages
Image from John Morrell (@John__Morrell)
Image from John Morrell (@John__Morrell)
2
Load more