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Jokelish

@Jokelish
Joined November 2013
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Why do elephants drink so much? To try to forget.
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Autocorrect can kiss my ask!
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As he looked up at the building a hooker said "Do you fancy a bit? "Why are they pulling it down"
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Mirrors can't talk & lucky for you, they can't laugh.
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Dear Toilet, Please Flush! Please Flush! Please Flush! Please Flush! Sincerely, At a friends house.
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"Still got it!" -hoarders
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My life is about as organized as the $5 DVD bin at Wal-Mart
Best excuse when caught facebook stalking: Oh, I saw it on my news feed.
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Better late than pregnant.
My grandma doesn't wear make-up to make her look pretty. She wears it to make her look alive.
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Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid.
I used to be able to make ends meet. But now they just stare at each other awkwardly from across the room.
Oxymoron: Critical Acclaim
Don't mistake my silence for ignorance. It's just that I don't care
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water? Hot, because you can catch cold.
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Misers aren't much fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.
Love doesn't need to be perfect, it just needs to be true.
I swear some people were conceived through anal sex. There is no way being that much of an asshole is natural.
If plan A doesn't work, just remember; there are 25 more letters in the alphabet.
Confucius Say… Woman who dates gambler, gets cheated on.
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