Adrenaline junkie, ocean lover, world traveler, Army vet, finance nerd, engaged to the smartest goofball I know 😊
Boston, MA
Joined November 2017
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Low key, already got sweet masks, and now I’m going back to buy everything 😳
Thanks to the gear you've purchased over the last year, we’ve removed 55,000 lbs of plastic from the ocean + donated $24,000 to marine charities. To thank you for buying better, here's 25% off the entire eco collection for 2 days. Use Code: EARTHDAY21 ➡️ padi.co/4sv284
Happy birthday to a man I low key quote whenever I do something mildly intelligent! @JeremyClarkson whenever you want to catch a Chelsea game, after the border opens up, let me know 😎
Did anyone else realize that @redbull basically made a sport out of everything your mom used as an example or what not to do? Ex: if your friend jumped off a cliff, would you? 🤔 ...depends, do I wing suit, 360 degree GoPro, and a Red Bull tv special?
If you have kids that you’re trying to explain dating to, have them watch Dancing with the Birds on Netflix. You’re welcome
So, I think we all want to know, how do I get @TheRock to go to our wedding? Like do I have to send him a large rock with the invite rubber banded to it? All ideas accepted.
Just so we’re all on the same page, @TheDrJessica and I went to a drag show last night and I was called Bradley Cooper... I will NEVER let anyone forget it either 😎
Dear world - the kids hate remote learning as much as the parents hate dealing with it, and the teachers hate trying to teach through it. In an unrelated note - when life gets hard, make a martini 🍸 you’re welcome 😉
Gym signs shouldn’t give all the instructions they are... they should just say « you know all the stuff you should’ve been doing all along, yea, we mean it now... and wear a mask too »
Listening to the @SkySportsF1 announcers figure out the names of the corners is quintessentially why I love British announcers! It’s the “I’ll give it a go” and then “I’ll make fun of you” banter 😂👍
I hope @Charles_Leclerc is doing alright... that crash looked like an instant concussion
Fun Jon fact: my favorite music artist is (drumroll please) @SaraBareilles and I just finished her book. It’s a good read and adds meaning to a lot of her music and her (I assume). Plus, it’s good to know someone else doesn’t know what they’re doing either, thanks Sara 🙂
Conversations with a six year old... Me: and where does the power for the electricity come from?
Six year old: money.
Me: 🤦♂️ 😂😂
Walked into the room to @TheDrJessica is staring the mirror and when asked what she was doing, say “I’m just realized, I’m adorable!” 😂😂
Anyone else notice @AROD is under the Nationals logo when commentating the Yankees game... just sayin
I’m sitting here rewatching episodes @thegrandtour and realized I’ll never be on celebrity face off... and here I was looking forward to driving my Jag down to the track, getting interviewed by @JeremyClarkson and setting a new track record in a Jaaaag 😒 dreams crushed!