Descendent of Venus, conqueror of all Gaul, dictator for life
Rome, more or less
Joined January 2009
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My great-grandson was a stutterer, and he did pretty well when he was put in charge. (Please don't tell him I said that. It took centuries for him to stop rubbing the Britannia conquest in my face.)
Have temporarily left Italy for my villa in @NJGov . They seem to have their act together here.
Yes, I have a villa in New Jersey. At least, I do now. #VeniVidiVici #SocialDistancing
If only I'd had it this easy in my day. Who needs to march on the capital when you've got a Senate under the thumb of a eunuch like @senatemajldr #MoscowMitch ?
Gaius Julius Caesar retweeted
By the reign of Augustus, the #Roman #Saturnalia festival
had expanded to 2 days. One of the most popular activities was gambling, frowned upon the rest of the year (though that probably stopped few people); even Augustus was known to love dice-playing at this time of year.
I've been taking a break from Twitter, but I really need to ask @realDonaldTrump : Where the hell is the army? They should have marched in and arrested all @HouseDemocrats by now. Or did you not yet secure their support? You really suck at this. #ImpeachmentDay
Oppius assures me that he's tried to complete this many times but that his efforts are rejected as "invalid entries." You'll just have to @ me.
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Does @realDonaldTrump have to actually go to the Senate to exercise his veto, in the proper, ancient fashion? I'm uniquely qualified to point out how auspicious the calendar is for such a visit.
I had a shadow army of thugs, too, @realDonaldTrump, but I didn't talk about them.
I finally thought of something I would do in exactly the same manner as @realDonaldTrump. I would also completely ignore the emoluments clause. Except I would understand what it is, freely admit I was violating it, and convince the citizenry that violating it was just.
This is not what happened when I visited the Parisi. facebook.com/223737677668539…
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Gaius Julius Caesar retweeted
What an Ancient Roman Shoe Found in a Well Tells Us About Fashion - mymodernmet.com/womens-shoes…
Please don't call... whatever this is... that. Even my detractors had to concede that I knew my %!&$.
I can't endorse all of them, but a senate that wants to get rid of a leader does have some options. Ask me how I know. #WednesdayWisdom
No, there wasn't cake
Although today's my birthday
For I am long dead
#Benigne teapawt.net/haiku_history/status/1…
Gaius Julius Caesar retweeted
Maybe that's what we need - chariots and woad rather than placards and a balloon? And awful weather to put his transportation out of action.
To be fair, there were protests when I came to Britain, too, and I'm way more popular. #TrumpUKVisit