Ty (Tourtured Poet)

Throwback to 2013 when I met @TheOnlyDetox I was in the backroom of the bar I was working at and she was performing. I was crying over my ex at the time. She looked at him “said that’s what you’re crying over?” Then she bought me a shot 😂😂😂😂😂. Good times

Boys, take yo broken selves to therapy not to my door.

Fuck A.I. Fuck data centers. Fuck flock cameras. And fuck coleslaw.

Dear men, running your hands under water is NOT washing your hands. Thanks for coming to my TedTalk

Just saw a coworker order Hardee’s and I’m disgusted.

When it comes to hot wings. You’re either Team Flats or you’re wrong. I don’t make the rules.

Not even 5 mins into Voicemails for Isabell and I already fear I’m screwed. This movie gonna WRECK me

It’s times like this that I know I’m cursed when it comes to technology 😂😂😭

My take is purely based on vibes but the letters B, C, D, E are all siblings. Brothers who are feral and their mom is exhausted. Now, their cousins letters G,P, T, V, are all sisters. Their mom was a little weird and made them all have the same haircut. Z is homeschooled.

8 stars to block out the name. ES6: High Rock.

Why don’t we just make it an additional requirement where in order to serve on the school board you must also have a child who is a registered student in that district you want to serve. Otherwise you can’t be on it.

Guy on Grindr named “im crazy” tapped me and I said “oh he’s cute……..ok maybe I am the problem”

Everyone is complaining about how long it took Max and Holly to say goodbye before the start running clearly haven’t heard of a Midwestern Goodbye and it shows. #StrangerThings5

A full hour or more?!!? That’s wild #grindr

as a Rascal Flatt Earther i believe that earth is a highway