Get Over Your Ovaries

Sting: “I’ll do it on one condition.” Me thinking: That I give you a kiss? 😏 He wanted a Super Bowl banner for his kid. So close. True story from the book, Ms. Cheevious in Hollywood: My Zany Years Spent Working in Tinseltown Here in all formats: amzn.to/4gjeY0d

I asked Tom to keep an eye on my shirt in case it shifted and flashed everyone. “You mean… you’re giving me permission to stare right there?” Why, yes. Yes I was. 😏 From the 10th Anniversary edition here: amzn.to/4gjeY0d

A guy once told me I was “definitely a MILF.” I had to ask what it meant. Apparently, motherhood came with some "things" I hadn’t been briefed on. 😏

I marched three doors down to seduce Antonio equipped with a determined libido. That lasted about two steps, when my “march” became a slow crawl of uncertainty and doubt. I went from seductress to survival crawl in under ten feet. 😏 In the book: amzn.to/4gjeY0d

I was the Talent Manager, so I stayed sober and professional at the MTV after-party. “That didn’t stop me from sexy dancing (which you know I don’t do on purpose).” 😏

Rule #7: Never date someone who lies in his dating profile. 𝗕𝗥𝗢𝗞𝗘𝗡. What? He was an acclaimed film producer of American History X offering me (a single mom) a nice dinner. So sue me. 😏 It's in the book

Back in the day, when online dating was considered edgy and kind of scary, I made a list of reasons to try it. Reason #6: “It was considered edgy! I was IN.” Some women saw red flags. I apparently saw invitations. 😏 In the book by @lisajey: amzn.to/4gjeY0d

Ms. Bitchy Bitch Bitch accused me of being a “STAR Stalker.” Then I got stuck next to Pink watching her while a camera fixed on her blocked my path...𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘄𝗮𝘀𝗻’𝘁 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗺𝘆 𝗰𝗮𝘀𝗲. 😏 Ms. Cheevious in Hollywood. Buy here in all formats: amzn.to/4gjeY0d

Mardi Gras. Three (or four?) Hurricanes. I earned a neck full of beads without flashing my boobs. Apparently, showing drunk guys my surgical incision worked just as well. Who knew scar tissue had currency? 😏 These are not those beads. Close enough. amzn.to/4gjeY0d

My job at MTV Icon: wrangle Aerosmith’s families. Then the band’s family asked to work only with me for the rest of the show. Not bad for a girl whose career plan was basically: get in the room and figure shit out. 😏 circa 2010 In the 10th anniv. book: amzn.to/4gjeY0d

Jack Black got pissy when we couldn’t find his @MTV badge. I swooped in, found it, handed it over with a smile and watched him huff away. Ahhh, Hollywood. Where even the name tags have drama. 😏

Single mom. Newly divorced. Hollywood. Celebrities to wrangle, kids to raise, men to date, mistakes to make. What could possibly go wrong? As it turns out, enough to fill a book. 😏 amzn.to/4gjeY0d

I was dirty dancing with Shannon Elizabeth’s man when I caught her looking. Suddenly I was back in Catholic school with the nuns watching. 𝗦𝗲𝘅𝘆 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝘂𝘁 𝗢𝗙𝗙. 𝗙𝗼𝗼𝘁-𝘁𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗢𝗡. 😇 It happened in 2000 I think? Read about it here: amzn.to/4gjeY0d

I spent several minutes wondering why everyone was making such a fuss over some guy named Tom. Then he shook my hand and lifted his glasses. Tom Cruise. 𝗖𝗹𝘂𝗲𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗮𝗹𝗲𝗿𝘁. 𝗗𝗮𝗺𝗺𝗶𝘁 𝗮𝗹𝗹. 😏 It's in the book! Buy here in all formats: amzn.to/4gjeY0d

When I was 36, Jerry O'Connell told me I was “the HOTTEST older woman” he’d ever met. I smiled sweetly. Inside? “OLDER? I’mma bitch-slap you, Muh-thuh-Fuh-ggahhhh!” 😏 In the book, Ms. Cheevious in Hollywood Buy here in all formats: amzn.to/4gjeY0d