This man is trimming his nails on the metra at 7AM, just letting the clippings fall to the floor. I'm no narc but my gut tells me to call the cops as this dude is surely a serial killer of some kind
Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords may not be a good basis for a system of government, but it can't be much worse than what we have now
As a landlord, how can you have your ground floor apts flood THREE times in a single year and still insist that it's not the building's fault??? And that the resident is responsible for cleaning all the floors that aren't the carpet?? Y'all trash let me out of this damn lease
Iowa State athletics may give me the lowest lows, but they also give me the highest highs so I'll take it
Today one of our office managers called me "an oasis of fun in a world of despair" so you all can send me thank you letters now for gracing you with my presence
Imagine meeting someone and falling in love but then you go follow them on Twitter and their pfp is some shitty monkey drawing with like an eye patch and a mohawk lmao
My uber driver just confidently made a left turn on red. Like full stop. Look both ways. Turn left. 2022 comin with new rules of the road let's go
They send the man with 2 total cup holders in his car to go pick up 5 drinks from Starbucks. A Starbucks which does not have portable cup holders. If I make it back with 0 burns and a clean car it'll be a logistical miracle















