Brad Ford

I have never figured out how to ask a female over to my place without sounding like a creep...

Does 'I have some real life shit going on right now' actually mean 'I normally only have fake shit going on'? #SlangFail

You act like it would kill you to look up from your phone and watch where you're going. Nothing could be further from the truth.

"If you're a TV commercial, you can't go trying to make up a hashtag. That's like, outside your jurisdiction, or something."

"If I were to find a woman worth my time, then I would simultaneously find a woman whose time I'm not worthy of."

people on twitter are a fickle bunch. I guess I don't post fast enough for their tastes. sucks to be them.

Irish Car-bombs over Baghdad #DrunkSongs @midnight

I'd rather make pop instead #CountryMusicIn5Words @midnight

I'm cheatin' on you, too. #CountryMusicIn5Words @midnight

A tear in my beer #CountryMusicIn5Words @midnight

Trucks, Beer, Heartbreak, Farming, Nascar #CountryMusicIn5Words @midnight

totes misbehavin' #BroBroadway @midnight

Abie's Irish Car-bomb #BroBroadway @midnight

Beer-pong in the Park #BroBroadway @midnight

#MarvelsAgentsOfShield was awesome again this week. A perfect set up for Friday! #AgeOfUltron #MarvelsDoingItRight

Piotr Rasputin aka: The Colossus of Rhodes #EuropeanSuperheroes @midnight

Captain Commonwealth #EuropeanSuperheroes @midnight

The Right Honorable Lord Chief Justice Dredd #EuropeanSuperheroes @midnight

The Kosovo Kid #EuropeanSuperheroes @midnight