Meridha 🏳️‍⚧️

My ‘baby’ turned 21 this week. Born 11 weeks early, weighing just a few pounds. I still remember the paediatrician coming to see us after I went into early labour at 28 weeks. He gave us a long list of things that could go wrong in neonatal intensive care. Worst case: she might not come home at all. This is the first time I held her - a few days after she was born. A rare few moments without the ventilator. Afterwards, she would need help to breathe for many weeks to come. Although I look happy here, my heart was broken. And I was full of fear. Any mother would be. Infertility, ectopic pregnancy and baby loss were part of my story too - along with premature birth and everything that followed. No exam result or professional achievement will ever rival this moment - bittersweet as it was. Which is why I refuse to be erased - or to see other women erased - from the language we use to describe what our bodies are made to do. Not every woman wants to have a baby. Not every woman is able to. But women should not have to disappear from the language of pregnancy, birth and our own bodies in order for others to feel included. Which is why I say no to “birthing people”, “menstruators”, “cervix havers” and every other reductive term for women. There is nothing inclusive about making women disappear.