If you want to reach me for some reason, find me on discord or reach out to a mutual friend as I will not see it here
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ALT Hey look I'm back. Well, not really, not for realz, I think it's still important that I step back for a bit, but I wanted to make another statement to more fully apologize and address, er, things. I was upset and embarrassed by Vic's thread and that was easy to respond to/apologize for, so I got that statement out and ran away to regroup. Now I have more to say, so I'm back to say it. The other thread is linked at the end of this thread for reference.
ALT Hey look I'm back. Well, not really, not for realz, I think it's still important that I step back for a bit, but I wanted to make another statement to more fully apologize and address, er, things. I was upset and embarrassed by Vic's thread and that was easy to respond to/apologize for, so I got that statement out and ran away to regroup. Now I have more to say, so I'm back to say it. The other thread is linked at the end of this thread for reference.
ALT Dorie has been an integral member of that group for months. I know that people will say I'm still doing the wrong thing by not immediately booting them from the server, breaking off our friendship, and never looking back. That would be easier, certainly, on an administrative level. However, somewhat apart from Dorie's continued presence there, the group at large has been rocked by the serious allegations against someone we were all interacting with. It's important that we process that and we would be handling this the same way in their absence.
ALT No one is obligated to believe anyone. What I can tell you is that I'm writing this in good faith and addressing everything I'm aware of as problems. If there's something you think I'm ducking, please tell me. I'm already seriously reevaluating how I interact in this fandom and outside of it. I am open to correction, as I hope this whole sequence has shown. No one is responsible for me but me; I thank the people who have reached out to point out the real points of concern. I fully acknowledge that my best is not good enough sometimes. I can only still try anyway.
ALT This is an apology thread, which I'm going to post and then log out. I'm not deactivating, at this point, because I don't want to dodge accountability. I'm just really fucking upset and the way to be responsible for myself is to step away temporarily. This will also allow me to seriously consider how best to change how I engage in fandom in light of all of this. I don't want to make anyone any more uncomfortable. Every bit of this thread is 100% as true as I can be, posting honestly and in good faith. I'm sorry to everyone I have made uncomfortable, or worse, who has been hurt by my actions.
ALT Alt text for this image is in the next tweet as it didn’t fit entirely in one
ALT Alt text for this image is in the next tweet as it didn’t fit entirely in one
ALT I am also sorry to the people who have been and are being hurt by my handling of accusations of sexual assault against members of the community. I can address the above topics in the space of a twitter thread, but I don't have the bandwidth or space to address allegations of very literal crimes. The situation boils down to people not being comfortable with me on any number of levels, so I'm hoping that by removing myself from the community entirely for a bit people will feel more safe in my absence than they do in my presence.
ALT Vic said: “after he repeatedly made me & others uncomfortable with inappropriate, unsolicited sexual jokes and comments and a refusal to comprehend why this behavior was not acceptable.” I wasn’t aware this was the case. I understand that people are reluctant to push back against people, so I don’t expect people to have said “no, please stop, we’re uncomfortable.” I clearly didn’t read whatever signs were there, and I’m sincerely sorry for that. Nothing I did was with the intention of being inappropriate; I just thought all of my assorted replies/comments were the same as other people’s. We talk about a lot of sexual and kink situations around here, and I thought my actions were in line with how everyone else has behaved. I very sincerely didn't realize they weren't, and I'm sorry for that most of all.
ALT This is not an excuse, but to clarify: no one expressed to me directly that my behavior was unacceptable. Had I gotten that feedback, I would have changed it. I'm not saying the burden is on the other people, just explaining why it took until now for me to be aware of it. I didn't know and no one told me. And for that I'm incredibly sorry.
ALT I did approach Vic in public. I’m sorry, Vic, for making you uncomfortable. For everyone else’s context, it was during the Izzy Canyon meetup at ConCon, therefore in an extremely public place surrounded by other mutual friends. I think I approached once and asked for a sticker, then I got my nerve up and went back and asked to be unblocked. People use blockchain and stuff all the time, so while the block was probably real, I wanted to approach in case it wasn't and then I could still see the art, which is great. The conversation lasted I think three total minutes, at which point I excused myself and never sought him out again.
ALT There was one other moment where our paths crossed when I saw some people I knew in the lobby of a hotel on the last day and wanted to show off the adorable present another friend had given me, so I approached the table to chat very briefly (honestly not even realizing Vic was there when I approached, and to my memory we didn’t exchange words). I haven’t said or done anything to Vic in the intervening time and (obviously) I wasn’t unblocked, so I took that as my answer. Again, I’m sorry for having made you uncomfortable, both online and off.