if one more person tells me “capitalism is making people starve” i’m going to lose it the poorest people in America are literally gigantic. like medically unexplainable balloon-shaped and built like refrigerators. we’re not dealing with famine—we’re dealing with doorways having to be widened have you seen what capitalism gives broke people in this country??? you can wake up at 2pm, take your government-subsidized Ozempic with a 3,000 calorie $9 “coffee” milkshake from Starbucks, get driven to Target in an air-conditioned car you don’t own, buy 40 pounds of seed oils and corn syrup with an EBT card, tap pay on your iPhone, and then go home and watch Netflix while you suck your vape in a recliner until the next time you’re ready to shovel food into that nasty mouth hole your shampoo has biotin. your snacks come in resealable zip pouches. your cats eat grain-free. your dog wears a thunder shirt. you’ve got twelve $7 body washes for different moods. your teeth are rotting from Mountain Dew. your fridge dispenses crushed ice. you have a bluetooth air fryer that makes chicken nuggets shaped like Paw Patrol characters. you’re on six medications and still have the nerve to say the system is failing you you don’t cook. you don’t walk. you don’t build. you don’t fix. and yet your lifestyle—degrading as it is—is still propped up by diesel engines, shipping containers, water treatment plants, and a thousand invisible laborers you’ll never meet capitalism isn’t making you starve. it’s keeping you alive in spite of yourself it gave you DoorDash. it gave you weed delivery. it gave you plus-size lingerie and mental health apps that send you push notifications like “you’re doing great sweetie” even though you’re a fucking emotionally unregulated lunatic. it gave you multiple streaming services to distract you from your own shitty choices. and you’re mad because it didn’t also give you meaning??? capitalism didn’t fail you. it cushioned your fall. it wrapped it in cheese, deep fried it, and let you finance it at 17% APR but the most ungrateful part is: the system is still carrying your ass on a reinforced mobility scooter through the Walmart to buy more of that trash you call food take away profit and by day four of your revolution you’ll be shitting in a bucket and trading hot cheetos for insulin in a parking lot SHUT THE FUCK UP