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Do you remember when you joined X? I do! #MyXAnniversary

Wipes the dust off of herself. Sneezes the rest out. She's alive.

Good morning from her Psychology Today photoshoot.

Good afternoon.

Yawns. Stretches. Rolls over to snuggle into @soughtrevenge. She's not ready to get out of bed yet.

An off day means a full day of cleaning the house from top to bottom with her music playing at the 24 volume level on the TV.

And you got mad at the reference of my ONE girlfriend?!

[If she ever tried, there's a backup tucked away somewhere Samantha would never find it.] Right... we'll circle back to it when you're ready.

Uh huh. [Opens notebook. Scribble, scribble.] Let's talk about it now, then. What made you feel so vulnerable in that moment?

No reason to notate a rare moment of you getting very upset and chalking it up as ‘overreacting’? I'm afraid I'm going to have to disagree with you. We'll talk about it in our next session.

I think not, Samantha.

Has been writing in her notebook all morning for a certain someone's file.

Suddenly I'm thankful no one makes puns out of my last names.

Christ.

If I... [laughs] I could never get tired of you, baby.

I was blinded by her intelligence and hotness.

She's going to run with ‘mommy issues’ from now on.