MinorMatryoshka

You can't stop me from trying to have a normal conversation with you.

My car costs as much as two used electric scooters.

prometheus

Should have just gone for an art degree.

I cannot fucking remember who stole fire from the gods.

This car was designed with the understanding that you would be making out in the back seat at the drive-in.

I hate going to fix some simple appliance and discovering star bits. Like really man, Phillips wasn't good enough for a washing machine?

Got some solid one-on-one time with an acquaintance and experienced his dawning delight to discover I was capable of thought. It wasn't mutual.

I have so thoroughly mogged my shitty step-dad that he's having an identity crisis and can't look me in the eyes anymore.

I like my women the way I like my dead wife nostalgia sequences: A little soft around the edges.

I could shave my head and get a cool cyberpunk tattoo.

If you have a problem because you did something stupid I'll be there but if you have stupid person problems you're on your own.

I will have my pound of flesh.

When dogs get old they get lumpy.

So I once had the house that everybody hung out at, and I miss it. Today I realized I can be one of the people who hangs out at your house.

Lady sitting in her subaru for twenty minutes in front of the shop and it's idling at like three grand.

I am consistently about 20% happier in days where I get to wake up at 9.

A lady said my curls were beautiful and I blushed.