Misfit Report

Mr 6 Months, your lies and deception can no longer fool the people of Kenya. Not a minute more, ndugu. Yesterday, I called you out for going to cheat my cousins in the Gusii Nation. Even tomorrow, I know the lies you are going to spread. The only thing you are doing is an old script of memorizing names of villages and roads in Kisii and Nyamira. This is an old tired script you used in 2022. What a horrible playbook! In four years, you have done nothing for them. No roads, no water, no electricity, no airport, nothing. ZERO! All you have are more lies and handouts. RiggyG is not a road in Kisii or Nyamira. Rigathi is not a water project. Gachagua is not an airport. The truthful man is not a rural electrification project. I am sorry you have nothing to tell my cousins. Maybe you should re-launch the cancer hospital you have launched five times, two of them in my presence. Leave DCP aspirants alone, or you will get another egg in the face, just like when you tried to con the widow and children of my late brother, Governor Gachagua. I told you in advance that I would teach you real politics. The half dose I gave you in Olkalou was just a dress rehearsal. I am preparing the full dose to administer intravenously on 10th August 2027. You will not believe the lethargy. It will be cruel, fast and furious. We shall apply a double Olkalou template in all 290 constituencies across the country. You will have no escape route to rig the elections, intimidate any public servant, or misuse our police service or any state agency. For your information, they are also waiting for you. Every time they look at their payslips or try to access medical care, they vow to retaliate at the ballot on 10th August 2027. You shall vacate State House in shame and humiliation. That is my promise to you and the country! Adios!