@MongoLikeX

Creative Director by day, writer at The Babylon Bee also by day

 Los Angeles
Joined April 2009
  • Tweets2.1K
  • Following1.2K
  • Followers403
43Media
Cold-Hearted Leftists Demand Immigrants Stay In Evil, Oppressive United States buff.ly/XEHV3QJ

Cold-Hearted Leftists Demand Immigrants Stay In Evil, Oppressive United States

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a sickening display of cold-heartedness, American leftists are demanding that immigrants stay in the evil, oppressive regime of the United States.

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Neighborhood Children Woefully Unprepared For Local Man Who Chooses Trick Over Treat buff.ly/TIVaHyU

Neighborhood Children Woefully Unprepared For Local Man Who Chooses Trick Over Treat

NAPERVILLE, IL — Dozens of neighborhood trick-or-treaters were left completely unprepared Tuesday evening after local resident Burt Ostler unexpectedly opted for "trick" when presented with the...

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Socialists Condemn Elon Musk For Redistributing Wealth buff.ly/TYvsaxO

Socialists Condemn Elon Musk For Redistributing Wealth

U.S. — Socialists around the country voiced their deep criticism this week of Elon Musk's plan to voluntarily redistribute his wealth to the nation's children.

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When voting, remember this: Better to follow an as*hole in the right direction than a nice guy in the wrong direction.
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Abdul El-Sayed Issues Fatwa Against Journalists Who Ask Questions About His Support For Terrorism
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Abdul El-Sayed Issues Fatwa Against Journalists Who Ask Questions About His Support For Terrorism buff.ly/Z3gM6Qx

Abdul El-Sayed Issues Fatwa Against Journalists Who Ask Questions About His Support For Terrorism

ANN ARBOR, MI — As the heated race for the open U.S. Senate seat in Michigan entered its final weeks, Democratic candidate Abdul Al-Sayed issued a fatwa against any journalists who ask questions...

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New Google Maps Setting Shows Husband The Route Wife Thinks He Should Take buff.ly/MaM4kpJ

New Google Maps Setting Shows Husband The Route Wife Thinks He Should Take

U.S. — A new setting on Google Maps was expected to save thousands of marriages by forgoing the optimum travel route to instead direct the husband along the route his wife thinks he should take.

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9 Things DHS Found In Raid Of Ilhan Omar’s House buff.ly/vPmyVo8

9 Things DHS Found In Raid Of Ilhan Omar’s House

Federal agents raided Congresswoman Ilhan Omar's home on Monday as part of an investigation into potential immigration fraud. According to highly placed government sources, what agents recovered at...

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ShowquestX retweeted
Homeland Security
@DHSgovOct 9
Following yesterday's officer involved shooting in New York, numerous lies about the incident and ICE operations in the city have been parroted by sanctuary politicians. ICE will never stop protecting New Yorkers by arresting and removing illegal aliens. Here are the facts:
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French Frantically Search Rioting Mob For Someone To Surrender To buff.ly/Yn6Cmc4

French Frantically Search Rioting Mob For Someone To Surrender To

PARIS — French leaders came up empty-handed on Thursday after spending several days searching for someone in the rioting mob to surrender to.

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Ariana Grande Lands Seasonal Gig As Halloween Lawn Skeleton buff.ly/tssPgrI

Ariana Grande Lands Seasonal Gig As Halloween Lawn Skeleton

LOS ANGELES, CA — Singer-actress Ariana Grande was excited to make some extra money this fall as she landed the role of a lifetime as a Halloween lawn skeleton, sources confirmed.

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Democrats Blame Cuts In USAID For Slowing Communist Takeover Of The West buff.ly/bAOFgNa

Democrats Blame Cuts In USAID For Slowing Communist Takeover Of The West

U.S. — With unrest drawing attention around the globe and the November midterm elections coming up soon, Democrats made it a point to blame President Donald Trump's cuts to USAID for slowing the...

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Modern-Day Rosa Parks Refuses To Leave Tip For Takeout Order buff.ly/P2tqbEJ

Modern-Day Rosa Parks Refuses To Leave Tip For Takeout Order

MONTGOMERY, AL — Authorities responded to a call at an International House of Pancakes off Atlanta Highway where witnesses said a modern-day Rosa Parks bravely took a stand by refusing to leave a tip...

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EU Declares Canada Weak Enough to Join Them buff.ly/KkoPv9k

EU Declares Canada Weak Enough To Join Them

BRUSSELS — Speaking in Strasbourg, France, on Wednesday, European Commission President Ursula von der Leyen announced that she had deemed Canada weak enough to join the European Union.

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Federal Judge Orders Sydney Sweeney To Gain 100 Pounds And Get One Of Those Butch Haircuts buff.ly/wOJpEFs

Federal Judge Orders Sydney Sweeney To Gain 100 Pounds And Get One Of Those Butch Haircuts

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Clothing retailer American Eagle's new advertising campaign hit an unexpected obstacle today, as a federal judge ordered actress and new brand spokeswoman Sydney Sweeney to gain...

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School discipline plummeted under the Obama administration, because school districts risked a DOJ lawsuit if they suspended black students at a higher rate than white students. At the same time, punishment for black males in the juvenile justice system dropped by 2/3. Results? Escalating juvenile crime and violent "teen takeovers."
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There is no such thing as just “smelling” marijuana smoke. If you’re smelling it, you’re inhaling it. Smelling is the act of physical particles entering your nose.
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Man Who Needs To Wake Up Early Sets Dog To Vomit At 5:00 AM buff.ly/NLrM5vC

Man Who Needs To Wake Up Early Sets Dog To Vomit At 5:00 AM

DENVER, CO — Struggling to find a way to get up early to make it in to work on time, a local man decided to go with the foolproof method of setting his dog to vomit at 5:00 AM.

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Pregnant Celebrity Mom Delighted To Announce Unborn Baby Is Trans buff.ly/hRGC0eb

Pregnant Celebrity Mom Delighted To Announce Unborn Baby Is Trans

BEVERLY HILLS, CA — At a lavish gender reveal party attended by Hollywood elite, a popular young celebrity announced that her unborn baby is trans.

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