@MrBonMot

Laughing at the chaos before it laughs back. Tweets contain sarcasm & exaggeration. Comedy, observations, and Unnecessary honesty. Don't take it seriously!

 Newcastle Upon Tyne, England
blogger.com/blog/posts/4748896342126235482?pli=1
Joined September 2013
  • Tweets156K
  • Following6.8K
  • Followers12.2K
7.8KMedia
I'm outside a nuclear power plant picking 14 leaf clovers!
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My overweight neighbour was crying because the airline made her book two seats. I said, ‘Yes, but you’ll get two meals.’ That cheered her right up!
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Ian Beale has a secret twin brother named Batmo.
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*Hands cashier £20 note* Cashier: "Got anything smaller, love?" . *Screws £20 note into a ball. Hands it to cashier*
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I Had to miss my team's Cricket match at the weekend because I had A Cold, They wern't upset. Just glad i could catch something!
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I've a suspicion the cat has been watching too many cookery shows!
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Jim Corbridge retweeted
Jonathan Harvey@Harvey7413h
I’m addicted to wearing ladies’ underwear but hopefully these knickerette patches I just bought will help! #lunchpun
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Jim Corbridge retweeted
The Bouncing Cow@Bouncingcowz3h
Last week, I was in a hotel in Vancouver, flicking through the TV one night when I came across a program showing wood cutting… Turns out I’d found a late night Chopping Channel #LunchPun
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Just thought I’d let everybody know that I passed my paintball exam… with flying colours… #LunchPun
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The Female Teller at the Bank this morning was flirting with me, till she saw my Balance !
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Zebras are just basically Geordie horses.
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The little boy in front of me in the shop queue either needs the loo or is stealing my dance moves.
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People who say I'm pretentious need to walk a mile in my Louis Vuitton's.
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I can't be the only person who is convinced that Daily Mail readers almost certainly have Nazi memorabilia hidden away in their attics!?
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I took a selfie this morning. Stay calm ladies.. Stay calm. 😄
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My Wife calls me her rock, on account of the fact I sit around doing nothing all day!
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I'm pretty certain I can remember a time when breakfast included Bacon!?
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The Lass at Tesco asked if i had a bag for life, I Showed her my Scrotum,She called Security...
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Yes I'm watching The Godfather again! But in my Defence, this is the first time i've seen it in Japanese!
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Who thinks the pole vault would be more fun if instead of a bar, you had to vault over a double decker bus?
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