Don't worry.... I'm still here. :-)

"Hey. What's going on?"

That's my soulmate. Could you imagine if she just came up to me and said "hello, I'm the future you"?

You get what you pay for

"I've never seen you in jeans before" "Yes you have, I wear them all the time." "Oh maybe I just never looked at your legs before"

Look, I'm a model citizen! Send this photo to immigration!

"It's Washington's Birthday?" "Yeah that's why it's Presidents' Day." "Oh no wonder..." "No wonder what?" "Nothing"

"I'll try anything at least once... Except bat droppings"

There's no stopping us....not even herpes

I have a secret penis.

"La la la la la la la la la" (with Jason Mraz)

"I'm cold... What are you laughing at?"

Marie, the baguettes! Hurry up!

I should work for hallmark

"Wanna see a magic trick?"

"No farting during dinner.. AND NO CALLING MOMMY A FART HEAD"

"Wait everyone be quiet. I can't whistle and I just heard myself whistle by accident"