Melissa Bene

Don’t waste your time with Steve, he’s a lost cause! This was what I was told when I asked about the student sitting alone at breakfast with his hood over his head and his head on the table minutes after the bell rang on the first day of school. Statements like these have always made me want to get to know the student even more. I wandered over to Steve’s table and asked if I could sit. Without looking up, he slid a chair out from the table. I took this as an invitation to sit. I introduced myself as Dr. P the new principal. There was no reaction - I guess Steve wasn’t too impressed. I just sat there quietly for a few minutes. Steve lifted his head up and asked if I had anything that I should be doing now. In my head, I thought that there was nothing more important than making a connection with Steve. I responded by telling him that I was so new, I didn’t really know what I was supposed to be doing. I also let him know that I really didn’t know my way around the building very well yet and I was a bit concerned that I might get lost. Steve said that he has been at this school since preschool and that he’d be willing to show me around. I accepted the offer and I let the front office and his teacher know that Steve and I would be on a tour. I was very impressed with Steve’s tour. He literally knew every part of the building. It was also interesting that every staff person knew Steve (and shared a similar look when the two of us walked by). When the tour was over, I spent a few minutes with Steve in my office learning about his likes (math, Pokémon cards and cheese pizza) and his dislikes (reading, writing and the school’s nachos). I thanked him for the tour and asked if he would swing by my office at lunchtime. He agreed. I wished him a good morning and let him know that I looked forward to seeing him at lunch. I put in an order for a cheese pizza to be delivered at his lunch period and let his teacher know to send him to my office at lunch. I pulled Steve’s file. He had a long list of past interventions and strategies. They were all marked with language similar to ineffective, goal not achieved or too disruptive to evaluate. He also had a long list of detentions, lost recesses, and a couple of in school suspensions. There was no physical contact, property destruction or eloping listed. It appeared that the infractions were exclusively due to talking excessively, work refusal, and disrespect. When Steve arrived at lunch, his whole face lit up at the sight (and smell) of a cheese pizza. I let him know that this was in return for a first class school building tour. My new friend Steve devoured half a pizza in under two minutes. He then asked if he could save a slice for his teacher. I asked if he was interested in a newly created position in our building. He gave me a puzzled look. I let him know that it was as the senior tour coordinator for new students and guests. I let him know about the “compensation package” (a pizza lunch per month, a weekly pack of Pokémon cards, and other bonuses based on performance). Together, we created a contract with a code of conduct for this prestigious position. We signed it and I had it notarized by our school secretary. He thanked me and said how excited he was. I contacted his parents and received their enthusiastic approval (and a sigh of relief that I wasn’t calling because of a behavior). The next day I had Steve give our superintendent the tour. It went so well! The superintendent was very impressed (he even included this experience in his weekly report). Steve gave two more tours over the next week. I checked in with his teacher and she said that he had been an exemplary student. Other staff in the building commented about his improving manners. Over the school year, our pizza lunches & Pokémon “pay days” became something that I truly looked forward to. Apparently, Steve wasn’t a “lost cause” after all! Join the Maslow Before Bloom group: facebook.com/groups/maslowbe…