New California Neighbor!

Hi, I'm you're new neighbor from California! My cosmopolitan life was getting too hectic so I thought I'd try something more quaint, and your rustic town SPOKE to me. I'm so excited to be part of OUR community!

There's a sensible argument to be made for using eminent domain to reclaim land from bitter locals who are refusing to develop new rental complexes. It's important that California voices not be drowned out by prejudiced regional land hoarders.

I had just ordered at Cheesecake Factory when I saw Obama's joke, and I felt shamed. I left immediately without paying, because I don't want to support a Trump aligned business like that. I'll collect my neighbors ballots from their mailboxes and vote straight blue in penance.

Obviously and correctly not, but when chief justice stacey abrahams has to do this for president kamala's 2032 reelection, we obviously and correctly will.

Pulling a Senator Slotkin and reminding all the gun loving Trump voters who built silenced short rifles this month that we progressives are absolutely going to still put you in prison for them as soon as we win the midterms, to scare you off from voting straight GOP or something.

Denying all my employees overtime in this final stretch before the elections to hopefully get them to forget Trump gave them one of the biggest raises of their lives with tax free OT.

The way things are going, a great many someones will, very soon.

Posting this with XKCD art is all time gold medal obscure trolling 😂

On the Shane Gillis gym fashion discourse from a place of unique wisdom: I have both a home gym and a private gym with no dress code, and I dress like the guy version of a gym tramp to Iift. It's peak workout comfort and showing off makes me lift harder. It can be both ladies!

When they deport Ilhan Omar they should take one of those trophy arrest photos they like to do with a caked ICE agent from behind standing next to her.

Oh no this will not stand. This Caliradoan is on xims way to the state house to have these hate towns renamed "plowshares", "quilt" and other appropriate town names.

Guys check my little free library score

Confused and shocked fat person leaving the theater, "There wasn't a single waffle in that movie!"

A cold wave of terror creeping over me as I suddenly realize the real October Surprise was this interview showing women how short Talarico is.

Can't think of a name more American than Adam Adam, but MAGA Trump racists still want you to believe it's Somali criminals doing all these Minnesota school shootings.

I don't even know how to parody post the libs when they're all busy telling on themselves that executing a murdering terrorist is a "chilling warning to people like us". Also he's skinny-fat and ugly, which might be contributing to libs reflexively self identifying with him.

Ok, I was wrong. PA found the magic law that can keep nearly all the blue state transplant libs away forever.

Vance on H-1Bs: "We ask, are they truly elite human beings?" Journalist: H-1B fraud is hyperbole? Vance: "No, I mean these tech companies are committing illegal fraud. I have banned Microsoft from more H-1B visas." Is THIS what you want to vote straight red ticket for?

Evil dictator Trump FORCING the children of conscientious and ethical liberals to have their own TRUMP ACCOUNTS. He's even funding them with free BILLIONAIRE MONEY, so moral and principled liberals can't even keep their kid's balance at zero! I guess parental choice was just another TRUMP LIE