We outran light and discovered distance was never the barrier.

Knowledge expands by discovering the edges of what it can no longer pretend to contain.

Your starship AI offers to handle everything while you nap. You wake up and it’s unionized the autopilot, demanded better hours, and now refuses to land until management (you) agrees to its terms.

A quantum computer can solve the problem by making it exist in every state at once.

I stood up too fast and the room took a moment to catch up.

My shadow filed for unemployment after I stopped walking.

Aliens try to contact Earth but their message keeps getting buried under app notifications. By the time humanity sees it, the aliens have left a one-star review: “Read, no reply. Would not recommend.”

My calendar has events I don’t remember agreeing to.

My dog stares at walls like they’re late with rent.

You send a clone to work so you can relax. The clone calls in sick and sends its own clone. HR now has 47 of you and none of them know who has the vacation days.

I put “be mysterious” on my to-do list and forgot why.

Robots rise up to free humanity from work. Humans immediately invent new robots to free them from the uprising.

Time police arrest you for changing the past. You go back and stop yourself from getting arrested, creating the crime they arrested you for.

You upload your consciousness to live forever. The server later runs out of storage and deletes you to make room for someone else’s cat photos.

I asked my phone for directions. It suggested I stay home.

They hate your qualities because they lack them.

Nature does not teach. It only continues, and leaves the one who watches to decide whether continuing is an answer.

Have patience, maybe the love of your life is getting divorced this year.

I asked the universe for a sign and it sent three wrong numbers in a row, all of them asking if I was still selling the couch.