Comedian. Tickets to see me live below. Also making videos in places around the 🌎

Brooklyn, NY
Joined July 2011
My fall tour schedule is lookin good. Reminder to buy directly through my site or link in bio cuz reseller markup prices are ridiculous.
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Great week of shows on the west coast thanks for coming and also thanks to Nimesh + Walnut Creek for having me as a guest. Houston, Austin and Philly to close out the year. Then you will never see me live ever again! And by ever again I mean until spring 2027.
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How do we feel about this
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See you guys in Houston next week
Replying to @Notjulio
@Notjulio LIVE in #Houston for one night only Thursday Oct. 29th #GiulioGallarotti arrives! Get tickets with the link in our bio before he sells out, follow him and don't miss him live!
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Helium Portland tonight and Cobbs in SF tmrw. Currently taking a nap. (This thing heats up and steams it’s incredible)
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Holy hell
Replying to @Notjulio
The line to take a selfie at the monument was as one lady described, was like the cue to everest. Pretty crazy!
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Seattle see ya soon. I know that my haircut sucks please be nice.
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“A jump to conclusions mat! Conclusions that you can…jump to” legend.
🕊️ "Office Space" star Richard Riehle has died at 78. tmz.com/2026/10/19/richard-r…
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Guys Akau from the South Sudan video lost his 4 year old daughter this last week. Cant imagine what he’s going through but his friends put together a gofundme if you’re able to contribute to it. And prayers up for Akau.
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Seattle, Portland, SF tues/wed/thu this week come out.
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It’s in my pants! 🤭🤭
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Currently sitting pretty at 243 National Park sites out of 433. Chippin away and having a blast.
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I think they do this in the suburbs still
Can we PLEASE normalize just hanging out at each other’s houses again? Why does every friendship meetup need to be a whole production, a restaurant reservation, and a $150 bill? I just want to sit on your couch, drink something, and talk for hours.
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They obliterated all of them with a nuclear fission bomb
Replying to @Notjulio
What do they know about fossils?
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Not kidding this was maybe 15% of the line from when I exited the military base after visiting the Trinity blast site which is open one day a year (first nuclear bomb test 1945). There was an absurd line on the base too. And you need to drive about 20ish miles once you’re on the base to get to the site. The end of this video is nowhere near the end of the line it was just some guy leaving space between him and next car. (that guy is always annoying please just get as close as possible).
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I went to the site that the first atomic bomb was successfully detonated. It’s open one day a year. Got there at 5 am for the 8 am opening. I was car #26. Got to enjoy it all with barely anyone around as I was basically the first person there. As I left at 10 am I’m not kidding you cars were lined up for 15 miles not budging. It was surreal. Just got home am too tired to share but will post all of it tmrw. Here’s a pic of me next to the commemorative Obelisk at the blast site. I’m not embarrassed because I’m 40 and I was there alone.
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Is super girl good? I just wanna watch cuz OG Rhaenyra is theoretically so watchable but have heard mixed things.
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Was hopping to avoid direct to door hotels moving forward. Hate to see a planning error. I am the man under the stairs 😈
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ALSO went to the White Sands missile range look at these puppies
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I also went hunting for fossils. Thought I actually found some but took this pic to the museum in town and they didn’t think so.
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