Mike Timko-Lantern 🎃

Hold on a second, you mean to tell me Superman has been fighting the KKK since the 1940's, but the KKK still isn't an official terrorist organization. Declare the KKK, guys. At least step over that low bar.

Republicans are now coming for your hushpuppies.

I wonder how everyone felt on their flights this morning. How do you not sit there, and have this black and white visual of a guy smoking a cigarette in the tower, turning on his monitor and going, "Well, Johnny, let's hope for the best"? #FAAShutdown #faagroundstop

You know the most insane part about today? Sean Duffy damn near ruined sports this weekend. Full slate of college football tomorrow was in jeopardy. NFL games on Sunday. And this dude is still gonna keep his job. #faagroundstop #Groundstop

Republicans didn't lose bad enough in the midterms. These cocksuckers wreck society in every fucking possible way, and then have the fucking audacity to ask for more money to fix a problem that they didn't even try to fix in the first place. Fuck you.

Happy Friday the 13th, everyone. What's your favorite film of the franchise? Mine is Part II. I've always had a soft spot for burlap sack Jason. I think Ginny is a fantastic final girl, and the kills are pretty iconic. #horror #horrortwt #FridayThe13th #HorrorMovies

Send them all to Montana. No professional sports teams. Bands don't tour there. It snows from like September to May. They'll be bored, cold, and out of the way.

MATT AND MICHELLE ARE GONE! WHAT A GLORIOUS DAY IN AMAZING RACE HISTORY! 🍾🍾🍾🍾🍾 #AmazingRace #TheAmazingRace

If the group of four ever gets this number correct, Matt and Michelle are done. Unless something crazy happens in traffic, these two should be gone on this leg. 🤞🏻 #AmazingRace #TheAmazingRace

IF ANUAR AND ANDREA LET MATT AND MICHELLE GET BACK IN THIS GAME... 😩 #AmazingRace #TheAmazingRace

MATT IS SO MAD THAT NO ONE IN LAOS SPEAKS ENGLISH! 😂 I love this for them. I can't wait until they go home. I will be popping a bottle of some sort if it happens tonight. 🥃 #AmazingRace #TheAmazingRace

So, Andrea is not wife material unless you wanna spend your life shitting your pants. #AmazingRace #TheAmazingRace

DALTON, YOU GEN Z PIECE OF SHIT, YOU CAN'T JUST MASH THE CRATES INTO PLACE. #AmazingRace #TheAmazingRace

The role of Doug and Dylan will now be played by Matt and Michelle. We always gotta have at least one team wandering the wilderness. COULDN'T HAPPEN TO NICER PEOPLE. SUCK IT. #AmazingRace #TheAmazingRace

I LOVE COOKING CHALLENGES! This seems so fun. You get to go to Laos, and just pick up food and cook it. #AmazingRace #TheAmazingRace

That was an awesome tribal council. Jelly came through in the clutch with that idol play. I think that was the first time I've seen a Shot in the Dark hit. And I'm so happy to see Kilby gone. Sucks for Kristin, tho. I liked her. #Survivor #Survivor51

THIS IS THE MESSIEST CAST I'VE EVER SEEN. THERE'S BEEN SIDE DISCUSSIONS AT EVERY TRIBAL. #Survivor #Survivor51

JELLY, USE THAT IDOL GIRL OMG. I'm so sick for Devin and Jelly. They're gonna get whacked like Joe Pesci in Goodfellas. 😭 #Survivor #Survivor51

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ERIC LOOKED LIKE LEWIS KICKED HIS DOG AND SPIT ON HIS MOTHER! NO ONE LIKES YOU, DORKO! #Survivor #Survivor51

Eric, you are not Christian Hubiki. Go sit down. #Survivor #Survivor51

This show loves that damn fence tunnel thing. #Survivor #Survivor51