MSc, BSc, Bronze swimming certificate and once won a football from Victor comic in 1984
Joined February 2018
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Odds of winning the lottery - 1 in 45,057,474
Odds of lightning strike in a given year - <1 in 1,000,000
Odds of getting three edible onions in a supermarket 3 pack - 1 in 466,754,342,664
Had to call up an ancient (pre monetizing/influencer culture/clout is everything) YouTube vid to help fix my antique turntable. What a refreshing joy to watch, not some prick shouting and wanking about, just a cool, calm, competent fella showing me how to fettle it.
*remembering you have boxes of awesome first pressing vinyl (Sabbath/Zep/ACDC etc) from your youth* 😬
*Realising you gave said vinyl all the love and attention as to a ginger stepchild in your youth* 😕
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Going out is absolute wank nowadays
'the situation is unjustifiable, my stadium tour is haemorrhaging cash and is on it's arse, I am very, very sorry'
We Gen X were often irresponsible and stupid, but we had more fun and life in one weekend than many nowadays experience in their entire youth, then again there wasn't a camera phone at the ready to catch you being an utter drunken cock
It was a loaded question though
'Would you like to get out of Whitehaven, even if it's just for a couple of days?'
'your Samsung Smart TV software has been updated
Improvements include constantly disconnecting from the WiFi, interfering with the router to make it lose connection and running streaming apps like you have a 56k modem
The next update may fix these, maybe not!!'
