Hey, Witch from the 1982 Conan the Barbarian film, using your sex prediction powers, Who will score the last minute play-off winner that will get @QPR promoted 32 years from now? @roykeanereviews

"Flung in by @Aaron_Cresswell again, Taken away by Winks... LANZIIIIIIIIINIIIIIIIIIIIIII! Oh it's glorious! Sensational hit... Sensational climax... To a sensational game!" Happy Lanzini Day to all those who celebrate it. @manulanzini

If anything, Chris Hemsworth earnestly reading someone's AI generated GCSE poetry homeworkmakes me want to visit Dubai even less than I did before.

youtu.be/iZyqwOOmETI?is=kn9i… @bushontheradio

A tactical masterstroke from Nuno tonight... getting Fulham's confidence up and putting even more pressure on saturday's Spurs/Villa relegation '6 pointer' #WHUFUL

Andrew Tate confirms he is Not On Normal Courtyard Execises.

I had this Frank Zappa album on double gatefold picture-disc vinyl.

"Well, technically, as it's a heraldic device and they are on all fours rather than rearing up on their hind legs like the Aston Villa badge, it should actually be '3 LEOPARDS on a shirt' but I doubt that lot would know that." "Do you want a bag or not? They're 30p."

It's Lunar New Year, yes it's Lunar New Year, it's L L L L L L L L Lunar New Year... @DannyJohnJules

So I now have to pay money to get grok to generate images of Elon musk vigorously fellating horses??

I mean, surely there's a cheaper way to get him to drink from a glass you've pissed in?

Congratulations to whoever wrote the script for the latest @sky advert on the radio. Getting him to say "It's Danny Diarrhea" was a masterstroke.

Every time I see this poster in the optician's window at the bus stop I find myself immediately saying "It's like a blooming spaceship" like some kind of #Ghosts blooper reel. @JimHowick

Halloween tip: It's basically an American thing so if any groups of kids come trick or treating, go the whole hog and shoot at them with firearms for trespassing on your property.