Rodney: Where did you get that gun? Del: Higgy Higgins Rodney: But Higgy Higgins robs banks! Del: I know but it's Saturday.

Del: The oldens are the bestens Rodney. Rodney: we're talking about boats here Del, not your birds.

Slater: What about his ethnic group? Delboy: Ah I didn't notice anyone with him.

Del: Is that our phone I can hear ringing Rodney? Rodney: nah.....we ain't got a car phone.

Denzil: I thought you said it was open 24 hours a day? Trigger: yeah, but not at night.

Albert: it's that the radio? Rodney: nah Elton John's popped round, he's rehearsing in the kitchen.

Boycie: Yes you'll know it's me Marlene, I'll play Mexico forever on the front door.

Grandad: He might be mad, you'd have to be bloody stupid to be out in this weather. (Friday the 14th)

What do you prefer Rodney? AstroTurf or grass? Rodney: ah I don't know I've never smoked AstroTurf.

Del: When Raquelle is ready she will give me a sign. Rodney: Yeah perhaps she'll put an advert in the Sunday Sport.