@OnlyInWaitrose

Overheard in Waitrose. Says darling a lot. Parody account. Customer Service requests will be met with sarcasm.

 Waitrose, of course
Joined April 2014
  • Tweets255
  • Following0
  • Followers13.1K
25Media
A Tesco delivery? In our village? Absolutely not.
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‘Our local Waitrose had a fire. I didn’t know what to do. I’ve had to go to Sainsbury’s.’
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‘If Tom proposes to me at Christmas, my god, I would feel so humiliated. Out in the open for all and sundry to gawp.’
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‘I’m going to end up single, in an apartment by myself being terrorised by cats at this rate.’
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‘Well if it wasn’t for Ocado jumping ship, I wouldn’t be stood here, queuing and moving at the speed of a tortoise. I am furious.’
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‘Darling, peanuts...?’ ‘For the squirrels dear’ ‘Oh, you are good’
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‘If Tom proposes to me at Christmas, my god, I would feel so humiliated. Out in the open for all and sundry to gawp.’
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‘Mummy, best not buy that, Aunt Sicily said sauvignon blanc is for common people.’
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‘I don’t know what he’s getting me for Christmas, but unless it comes in a brown box and has Louis Vuitton written all over it, I’m not interested.’
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‘A million for the entire apartment? Wait... it isn’t affordable housing, is it?’
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‘M&S only stock Epoisse cheese in halves so I came specifically for a full one and now you’re telling me it’s out of stock? Get me the manager.’
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‘Terribly embarrassing but this is my routine for when I’m having a lazy one and end up eating like an utter pig’
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‘I think it’s outrageous that in 2019 I’m still being served instant coffee on flights’
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‘Don’t get me wrong, I care about the environment and all that but no supermarket is going to convince me to cart around containers like an old camel’
Essex & Suffolk Water@ESWH2O4 Jun 2019
Great stuff from @waitrose @OnlyInWaitrose with their trial of refillable containers for your shopping. Could prove an exciting new step forward in reducing waste in packaging! #PlasticPollution bbc.co.uk/news/business-4849…
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‘Don’t get me wrong, I care about the environment and all that but no supermarket is going to convince me to cart around containers like an old camel’
Essex & Suffolk Water@ESWH2O4 Jun 2019
Great stuff from @waitrose @OnlyInWaitrose with their trial of refillable containers for your shopping. Could prove an exciting new step forward in reducing waste in packaging! #PlasticPollution bbc.co.uk/news/business-4849…
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‘I think it’s outrageous that in 2019 I’m still being served instant coffee on flights’
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‘So I’ve decided that the theme for the new house is going to be forests.’
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‘Darling don’t slump like that, you have the posture of a gorilla’
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To checkout assistant when asked if she’d like a bag: ‘Well what do you think? Do I look like I need a bloody bag?’
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‘£3 for a bit of sourdough? It’s bloody fools gold.’
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Mum to her two kids (aged around 7): ‘What type of bread would you like to dip into your mussels?’ Via. @Mike_Banks
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